


All The Roads We Have To Walk

by MeadowHarvest



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alexis being Alexis, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Boys In Love, First Kiss, First Love, Holding Hands, M/M, Party Like It's 1999, Patrick's POV, Pining, So much flirting, Summer Camp, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23157823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeadowHarvest/pseuds/MeadowHarvest
Summary: "I wonder what would've happened if we'd met in high school?"Patrick Brewer is ready to conquer the summer of 1999 at Camp Cedar Glade. He's in for a surprise, though, in the form of one David Rose.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 74
Kudos: 235





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this since the fall and suddenly found myself with plenty of spare time to finally finish editing and revising. I'll post a chapter every day, and I hope you enjoy it! I haven’t read any of the high school/summer camp AUs yet, so any resemblance that may occur is completely unintentional.
> 
> I’ve aged Patrick up a few years because there’s no way a 4-year age gap (my headcanon based on the actual age gap of Daniel and Noah) works with teenagers. I’ve also kept it pretty mid-range-Judy-Blume levels of explicit. 
> 
> I feel like teenaged Patrick would be a little more unsure of himself than adult Patrick, but I’ve attempted to keep him as Patrick as I can. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Camp Cedar Glade is exactly what a summer camp should be, thinks Patrick Brewer as he unpacks his duffel bags in the boys’ staff cabin. It’s his fourth summer here, but this year, he’s moved up in the world and is now a counselor-in-training, which is cool. He supposes he should feel some sort of great responsibility weighing on his shoulders, but mostly he’s just happy that he’ll get to have a little more freedom than the regular campers.

  
He’s happy for a change of scenery, too. His freshman year had gone pretty well, he figures, but it was still a lot to wrap his mind around. Like, he’d gotten the lead in the musical, but it was  _ Oliver! _ , so he’d had to sing a song called “Where Is Love?” in front of a lot of people. Or, he finally got to go to the same school as his cousin Joey who’s just three weeks older, and they’ve been best friends since birth, but this year Joey got a girlfriend and didn’t hang out as much. So there was good stuff, and there was weird stuff, and it just felt good to go away for a little while. He hopes something interesting will happen. 

He has no idea what he’s getting into.

\---

“What the fuck is this?” Patrick hears a voice say outside, as a car door slams. He follows the sound of angry muttering and sees a really nice car pulling away from a guy about his own age and a girl who’s maybe eleven or twelve standing next to a bunch of fancy-looking suitcases. The guy is definitely not happy, and Patrick watches as he pulls out a cell phone, yanks out the antenna, pushes some buttons. 

“VANESSA. Where the fuck are we? This is not what we agreed to!” the guy says angrily. “This is NOT NICE.”

He’s quiet for a moment and Patrick watches as the muscles in his jaw flex. A look of sadness seems to flit across his face, but it’s quickly replaced by anger and finally, resolution. 

“FINE,” he growls. “But we’re not done with this.”

He hangs up the phone, slides down the antenna, and shoves the phone in his pocket. He turns to the girl and says, “We’re stuck here for now, like fucking orphans left in the fucking woods.” 

The girl makes a face and turns to Patrick, who colors red, not realizing they could see him there. “I’d love some help with my bags,” she says, flashing him a charming smile full of braces. Patrick doesn’t know what else to do, so he grabs the handles of two of her bags and heads over toward the head counselor.

Ten minutes later, after checking in with Candace and leading the girl, who he now knows is named Alexis Rose, to the Chickadee cabin, Patrick gets back to the boys’ staff cabin and stops short. The guy is there, standing in the middle of the room, looking at it like it’s a prison cell. 

“Oh... hey,” says Patrick. “Um. I’m Patrick.” He gives a little wave and feels stupid, because this guy is dressed like an adult and Patrick feels like he should shake hands because that’s what he’s been taught, but also, who shakes hands in a cabin at a summer camp?

The guy glances over at him and finally seems to register that Patrick is there. “David,” he says. 

Patrick nods and says, “David Rose,” before he can stop himself. The guy looks surprised, and a muscle in his jaw seems to tighten. “You know who I am?” he asks. 

Patrick flushes. “Your sister. Uh, she said her last name was Rose, so I extrapolated,” he says, and feels stupid again.

A hint of a smile flits over the guy’s face, and it’s enough to make the cabin feel brighter. But then it’s gone, and suddenly Patrick feels like he’s lost something inside himself.

“Extrapolated? This isn’t a math camp, is it?” asks the guy… asks David. 

He looks horrified enough that Patrick laughs. “Not a math camp, just a regular camp. But I’m impressed that you know what extrapolation is,” he says, and feels rewarded when David smiles again. 

“Pretty people can be smart, too, you know,” David says, flicking away the longer hair on the left side of his head. Patrick can’t tell if David knew he was joking or if David’s serious right now, and he doesn’t know how to reply to this, but it’s okay because David is now pacing in front of him and doesn’t seem to be thinking about it. 

“Do you have any drugs?” he asks, turning quickly to face Patrick.

“I brought some ibuprofen, but you can probably get aspirin at the nurse’s office,” Patrick answers. David laughs. 

“That’s cute,” he says, and then Patrick feels ridiculous because of course David didn’t mean ibuprofen. He doesn’t really know how to answer, because he’s pretty sure Mike and Steve have pot, but he doesn’t know the etiquette on offering up your bunkmates’ drugs.

He decides to change the subject. “You should probably grab a bunk,” Patrick says, looking around the cabin. It’s not huge, and most of the beds already have stuff on them. Patrick indicates his bunk.

“There’s an empty one above mine, if you don’t mind being on top,” he says, and then dies for the millionth time in five minutes as he realizes what he’s said. 

He’s relieved that maybe David isn’t as cocky as he seems, because suddenly he’s bright red too, and that makes Patrick feel much better. “I.. yeah, the top is fine.” David says, but there’s just enough of something in his voice that gives Patrick pause. 

“Or, I could switch,” he says, and is rewarded by a look of relief on David’s face. 

“Um, if you wouldn’t mind,” David says, a little more softly than he’s spoken before. “I drink a ton of water and um… being that high up wouldn’t be great for me.”

“I don’t mind. I’ll be on top,” says Patrick, and dies again for the millionth-and-first time.

\---

He’s mystified by David. Like, he seems to have never seen a sleeping bag before, because he looks a little horrified when Patrick unrolls his. “You’re going to sleep in a big flannel sock?” David asks as he clumsily, hesitantly makes his own bed with brand-new smooth sheets, wrinkling his nose at the vinyl-covered mattress. Patrick can’t help but wonder if he’s ever made a bed before, which adds to the mystery that is David Rose. 

They’re soon joined by some of the other CITs, the ones not assigned to cabins with campers. Patrick can tell that Cameron and Jordan don’t know what to make of David either, but at least they’re nice to his face, even if they take off as soon as they can. 

The dinner bell rings, and Patrick automatically looks toward David, who follows him out of the cabin. “Isn’t this how cows go to slaughter?” David asks as he and Patrick join the others heading toward the dining hall. “Hearing a bell, thinking they’re going to be fed, and then they’re murdered before they even eat?”

Patrick laughs. “It’s highly unlikely we’ll get murdered first. They let us eat before the slaughter,” he says, and David smirks, which makes Patrick smile. David is obviously discombobulated, and it’s cool that Patrick can offer him something to smile at. 

Patrick feels David pause next to him when they enter the dining hall. It’s not as crowded as it will be tomorrow when the campers arrive, but it’s still pretty bustling. Patrick glances at David and sees him scanning the room. His gaze stops on his little sister, who is at a table surrounded by a few of the girl counselors. Patrick expects him to go over to her, but David doesn’t acknowledge her, seemingly content to know she’s there.

Instead, he follows Patrick toward the buffet line. Patrick notices he waits for Patrick to start loading his plate before doing the same. Patrick feels like maybe he’s never seen a buffet before, but that seems crazy. David doesn’t seem to mind the food, though, because he loads up on burgers and chips and coleslaw. 

Patrick feels David hesitate again once they’re done getting their food, and this he completely understands. It’s the same hesitation Patrick had all year at school, wondering if he should sit with Joey and his girlfriend Katie. Eventually, he made friends with the drama club people and just sat with them, so he feels reasonably secure now in just going to sit at a table with Cameron and Jordan and a few others. 

David sets his food down next to Patrick. “I need to wash my hands after those utensils at the trough. When they come around for drink orders, order me a Coke, if you don’t mind, ” he says. 

Patrick grins, and David asks, “What? We’re allowed beverages here, right?” 

Patrick nods. “It’s just that they don’t take drink orders. Someone will be around with the water bucket soon, and you can have first gulp.”

He doesn’t know why he says it, but he’s glad he did, because David looks horrified at first but then seems to realize Patrick is joking. “Kidding,” Patrick says. “There’s a drink station over there, but it’s only milk and juice. No Coke, sorry.”

David sighs. “First there’s no coke, and now there’s no Coke,” he grumbles, but he gives Patrick a sideways smile that Patrick takes as a thanks. He’s not sure, but he thinks he has a new friend. 

Dinner goes pretty well. Patrick introduces David to the rest of the people at the table, Lauren and Christie and Kim and Bridgitte, who Cameron definitely likes. They’re all CITs, too. 

The girls seem to know how to talk to David more than Patrick or Jordan or Cameron do, because they immediately zero in on his shirt, which apparently was designed by someone Patrick has never heard of. Patrick feels a little disappointment in his stomach as the conversation zooms on without him.

After dinner, Candace calls all the CITs over so they can figure out what duties they’ll have for the summer. Patrick is crossing his fingers for the sports field. Candace goes down the list of the CITs assigned to camper cabins and then Patrick sits up straighter when she gets to the empty recreation positions. Lauren is a certified lifeguard, so obviously she’s perfect for the beach. Christie is apparently into woodworking, so she volunteers for that. “Okay, then I need a couple in arts and crafts, and four for sports,” says Candace, looking at the rest of them. “Sports,” says Patrick, and Kim and Bridgitte chime in with him.   
  
“Oh, God,” says David, a look of disgust on his face. “Art, I guess. I don’t do sports.”

Jordan leans toward Patrick. “The thing is, Cam and I both want sports, too, and if there are three guys, then it would only be us and Kim, and Cam wants to hang out with Bridgitte, so…”

Patrick swallows. Jordan’s not being mean or threatening or anything, but Patrick knows what Jordan wants him to do. He doesn’t really have a choice, does he? 

“I’ll do arts and crafts,” Patrick says loudly, and the approving clap on his shoulder from Jordan doesn’t erase the disappointment he’s feeling again. Like, he’ll still get to play sports during his own rec periods, but he had been looking forward to helping the kids, who are always so cute and excited to learn. It’s that feeling he had all year again, where it’s good, but something feels just a little off-kilter in him.

He looks up and sees David looking at him. Suddenly Patrick realizes it might not be bad at all. He’s always enjoyed arts and crafts, and the kids will need just as much help there as on the sports field. Plus, he honestly has no idea what David will be like, but he’s kind of excited to see.

There’s nothing else planned for that night; the majority of the campers will arrive tomorrow. The group breaks apart and heads outside. Some of the counselors have built a bonfire and one of them has a guitar and is strumming Dave Matthews Band, and it definitely smells like pot. 

Patrick finds an empty seat in the circle, and joins in with the singing and conversation. He loses track of David but then sees him take a drag off a joint over on the other side of the fire pit. Patrick hasn’t ever tried pot, so he decides to stay where he is. 

He ends up having fun talking with Jordan and Christie and a counselor named Alex, but when he starts yawning, he decides to go to bed. It’ll be a busy day tomorrow, and he’s never shaken the habit of going to bed at a reasonable time the night before a big day, even if it makes him dorky. 

The boys’ staff cabin is empty when he enters it, or so he thinks until he sees David curled up in his bunk with a journal, writing by the light coming out of the bathroom. “Oh, sorry,” says Patrick automatically. 

David startles, and Patrick can see even in the dim light that his eyes are super red, which Patrick is pretty sure is because of the pot. He hopes it’s the pot and that David hasn’t been crying, because Patrick has no idea what to do in that scenario. 

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I’m just… it’s fine,” says David, the words tumbling out of his mouth. He watches as Patrick pulls out a pair of flannel pajama bottoms from his dresser. Patrick is just wondering if he should go change in the bathroom when David flops onto his back. “I’m just… I’m going to sleep now, so you can… do your thing. Ciao,” he says, turning over to face the wall.    
  
Patrick can’t help grinning. “Ciao?” he says, as a chuckle escapes. “Shut up,” he hears David’s muffled voice say. “Go put on your pajamas.” 

Patrick does that, and then heads into the bathroom, pulling the door closed. Before he clicks it shut, he thinks he hears David repeat “Ciao,” in a disbelieving whisper. 

David is quiet when Patrick is done in the bathroom. Patrick carefully climbs up into his bunk. He’s not really sure if he should say goodnight, or if that’s super dorky. He feels like he should say something, at least. 

“Candace says not to forget we have first aid training in the morning,” he says to the ceiling. He feels David turn over in the bunk below, and he’s worried he woke him up. 

“As long as it’s not before ten a.m. I’m not a morning person,” he hears David say. Patrick grins, knowing the breakfast gong is going to ring at eight, but not wanting to burst David’s bubble.

The room is silent. The quiet sounds of nighttime in the woods mingle with the faint sounds of the people at the campfire. It’s one of the best sounds in the world. Patrick’s eyes are heavy and his heart is content. 

“Goodnight, David,” he says quietly. 

“Goodnight, Patrick.”


	2. Chapter 2

The breakfast gong is a literal rude awakening the next morning, at least for David. Patrick’s already up and dressed when it goes off over the tinny loudspeaker, and he debates waiting for David to get dressed and go. He’s hungry, though, and judging from the amount of hair and body products David is gathering for the shower, it might be awhile. He decides to just go ahead, hoping David knows how to get to the dining hall. 

Patrick eats with Cam and Jordan and several others, and almost the full breakfast hour goes by before he realizes David hasn’t shown up yet. It’s nearly time for the CITs to do first aid training, and he doesn’t want David to have to do that on an empty stomach. Patrick’s mom always insists that a full stomach will let you conquer the world, and Patrick figures David might need help conquering camp.

Before Steve finishes clearing the buffet remnants, Patrick fills a plate for David and it’s sitting on the table when David bursts into the dining hall a few minutes later. 

“Oh, fuck,” David says as Steve clears the last warming tray. 

“Over here,” calls Patrick, and David sinks dramatically into a chair. 

“Here you go,” says Patrick, and David eyes the plate warily. 

“Wait, you did this for me?” he asks, and for a moment, Patrick feels a thrum of panic, because what if it’s a really weird thing to do? He nods. 

“Thank you,” David says in the quiet tone that makes Patrick feel really warm inside.

Patrick goofs around with Jordan as they watch Cam try to flirt with Bridgitte. All the while, though, Patrick is watching David eat. He figured David would be a very tidy eater, not letting his food touch, because he’s so put together. But David is digging right in, wrapping a bit of scrambled egg in some pancake, swiping up hash browns with his fork and spearing a sausage to go with it, adding syrup to his pancakes and mixing in more sausage and hash browns. He seems to love every bite, and it somehow warms Patrick’s insides to see that. 

First aid training goes pretty well; Patrick tries to pay attention, but it all feels a little silly, but then again, they’re partly responsible for the campers, so he really does his best. 

The highlight comes when the camp nurse asks what they would do if a camper fell and knocked a tooth out, and David says, “I’d get them airlifted to the nearest cosmetic dentist so their face isn’t ruined.”

Everyone laughs but David, who looks confused. “What? It’s what we did when Alexis fell off Roberto Benigni’s niece’s Vespa in Florence.” 

The laughter after that makes him look even more confused, and Patrick can’t help feeling a little bad for him. Maybe his joke didn’t land like he thought it would. 

After the training ends, the camp nurse tells them to go check in with the counselors at their rec assignments, so Patrick finds himself alone with David, shuffling quietly through fallen pine needles as they head to the arts and crafts cabin. 

There, they meet Elise, who is twenty and has a long braid down her back. “So you guys will be here for the afternoon rec sessions, and I’ll be taking my break since I’m also the counselor for the Wren cabin.”

David and Patrick nod as she continues. “I don’t have too many rules, since I believe in artistic freedom, but my two rules are to not light anything on fire under any circumstances and to wash the paint brushes as soon as they get used because it’s a pain in the ass to get dried paint out of them.”

Patrick feels like the nodding Taco Bell dog as Elise shows them where all the art supplies are. 

“Where’s your kiln?” asks David. 

“No kiln. No fire, remember?” says Elise, and David looks perturbed.

“What about a loom?” he asks, and Elise points to the overflowing craft shelves. 

“That’s what you get,” she says, and David looks grim. 

“I don’t know how we’re supposed to create beauty out of that, but okay,” he says, and Elise smiles.

“I believe in you,” she says as they leave to go to lunch. 

“So how much do we get paid? Twenty? Twenty-five an hour?” asks David as he and Patrick make their way back to the dining hall. Patrick laughs.

“We don’t get paid,” he says and David looks angry. 

“Is that even legal?” he asks. “I’m 90% sure child labor is illegal.”

“We actually pay camp fees to be CITs, so I don’t think so,” says Patrick. 

“Well, that’s bullshit,” says David. He’s quiet the rest of the way to lunch, but he doesn’t look as angry as he sounds. 

Patrick loses track of David while helping campers with their luggage. He’s having fun, though. Patrick loves meeting new people, and he’s come to this camp for enough years that he knows a lot of the returning campers and promises to eat dinner with some of his old friends. 

He doesn’t see David again until Campfire that night. Patrick is already parked on a bench when he sees David approach. But maybe David doesn’t see him, because he goes and sits with Lauren. Patrick feels a twinge of something deep in him. Maybe it’s annoyance? Maybe it's disappointment that David didn’t even look for him. 

\--

He and David don’t see each other the next morning, because Patrick is busy playing basketball during morning rec. He doesn’t see David at the beach, either, when he goes to take a swim to cool off before lunch. 

Patrick jogs along the path to get to the arts and crafts cabin before the campers arrive after lunch. He’s surprised to see David already there. “Hi,” David says.

“Hi,” says Patrick. “Long time, no see.” Ugh. He sounds like his uncle Bill. 

“Yeah, you’ll be shocked to hear that I generally stay far away from the sports field,” says David. 

“I figured you were with Lauren,” says Patrick. He doesn’t know why he says it. He immediately regrets it, especially because of the look of confusion that flits across David’s face.

“No, I laid low by myself,” says David, and Patrick smiles. He doesn’t know why it makes him happy that David didn’t hang out with Lauren, but it does. 

The first wave of campers arrives then, mostly girls, mostly named Ashley. Patrick and David don’t get much of a chance to talk, but Patrick watches David help the campers. He figured David would be reluctant, but David seems to be taking it seriously. And he’s good at it- he’s snippy with a group of girls who are getting sassy, but he’s really gentle with the littlest Ashley who is very obviously homesick. 

Patrick is washing paint brushes between sessions when David approaches. 

“I have something to talk about with you,” he says, and Patrick’s stomach does an involuntary flip. He doesn’t know if this’ll be good or bad, and it’s at the forefront of his mind all through the second session. 

He’s actually a little nervous for some reason as the last camper scoots out the door. Luckily he doesn’t have to wait and wonder too long, because David plants himself next to the sink where Patrick is. 

“I have an idea,” David says. Patrick hasn’t heard this tone in his voice before. “What if we open a little shop? The campers can make crafts and sell them.”

“Ah, and we can teach them about commercialism,” says Patrick, because he can’t help it. He feels like a jerk, though, when David looks a little crestfallen. 

“It’s dumb, I know,” says David. Patrick could kick himself.    
  
“No, it’s good,” he says, and is rewarded with David’s smile. “It’s a really great idea, David. I think the campers will really like it.” 

David actually blushes, and for some reason, Patrick feels like throwing his arms around David. It seems like maybe David never gets this happy, and Patrick wants him to be happy. He might not understand David, but he wants to make him look like that again. 

\--

They have a little brainstorming session and they seem to fall into complementary positions pretty easily; Patrick has a brain for the logistical and transactional side, which David seems to appreciate, and David has an eye for decoration and what he calls flow. 

Elise gives them the okay, and Patrick lets David tell the campers the next day.The kids are really excited, too. One of Patrick’s ideas was that they wait a week to open the shop, which gives the campers enough time to get a head start on making their wares.

The littlest Ashley is the most excited and is determined to make a stack of bookmarks. Patrick and David exchange a secret smile over her head because they’re godawful, like really terrible, but they’ll never tell her. 

Alexis and her cabinmates paint different views of camp; the lake, the dining hall, the woods. At least, the other girls do that; Alexis paints a self-portrait. 

“What are you doing? Why don’t you paint something nice like the view from the lake? Are you that self-centered?” David hisses at her, and Patrick watches as she rolls her eyes. 

“Um, David, do I need to remind you that I’m literally the only Canadian girl to ever be on the cover of American Girl Magazine?” she says, and David makes a huffing noise and looks at Patrick again. They’re getting pretty good at communicating without words, and Patrick likes that he knows exactly how David is feeling right now. 

Even though they spend a few hours a day together, Patrick still doesn’t know much else about David’s life. He volunteers nothing about himself, but he seems to like Patrick’s stories though, and seems really interested in Patrick’s life. When Patrick mentions being in the musical this year, David shudders.

“What, you don’t like to sing?” Patrick asks, grinning. 

David grimaces. “I don’t  _ not  _ like to sing, but it’s weird when people watch you,” he replies. 

Patrick files that little nugget of information away in his brain. The same goes when he learns David dabbled in the harpsichord after Patrick mentions that he plays guitar and might do a song for Talent Night. These little tidbits add up to create an enigma of a person. 

Patrick’s not even sure what David does during his free time at camp. Patrick can’t resist the sports field and nearly every day he’s playing basketball or baseball with Cam and Jordan and Kim and a bunch of others. He loves having inside jokes with people and feeling that sense of teamwork. He wonders if David ever feels that. He wants to ask, but it feels kind of personal, and they don’t really get personal when they talk. 

“So what do you do every morning?” Patrick finally asks the day before the craft store opening. He and David are setting up the crafting tables, or rather, Patrick is. David is arranging crayons in spectrum order. 

David pauses. “I sleep. Sometimes I meditate or do yoga or write in my journal.” 

He glances at Patrick warily, as though he expects Patrick to make fun of him for doing those things. It’s true that Patrick usually can’t resist teasing. But this time, he only asks, “So have you ever actually been outside?”

David seems relieved. “Nature and I don’t always get along. We’re on a break.”

Patrick grins. “Maybe you and nature need a little jump start, a little electricity in your relationship,” he says. “You should come do high ropes with me tomorrow. It’s really cool.” 

David looks wary again. “You sound like a magazine quiz. But, um, okay,” he says, his tone very skeptical. 

Patrick laughs. “David, I promise I won’t let you fall,” he says. David still looks unconvinced, but at least he doesn’t look terrified. 

He does look terrified the next morning when he and Patrick are being fitted with harnesses and helmets by Kyle the high ropes instructor. Lauren joins them, along with this girl Gracie who Patrick thinks might be the CIT for Chickadee. 

“Um, the girls can go first,” says David, looking up the ladder. 

Patrick laughs. “Are you being polite or trying to get out of this?” he asks, and David shoots him a look. 

“I wouldn’t subject myself to this embarrassment of a getup if I wasn’t going to go through with it,” mutters David, and Patrick claps him on the shoulder as Lauren climbs up the ladder. 

Gracie goes next, and then David tells Patrick to go ahead. Patrick does, and looks down as David hesitates for a moment before starting slowly up the ladder. 

Alexis and her gaggle walk by, singing the song they’re doing for Talent Night. She stops the song to look up, shouting, “David! DAVID! Hiiii! Don't fall!” until he looks down.

“You shut up!” he shouts back, and she and her friends giggle and scatter like flies.

The burst of irritation seems to give him some steam, though, because he quickens his pace and makes it to the platform pretty fast. 

Lauren and Gracie are already across the rope bridge, and Patrick’s halfway through when he turns to look at David. He’s pale. 

Patrick makes it the rest of the way and turns to watch as David latches his carabiner and takes his first hesitant step. He looks more miserable with each small movement. Patrick’s heard his dad talk about flop sweat, and until today, he didn’t know what that really meant.

“You can do it, David!” he calls encouragingly, and Lauren and Gracie join in, which is a little bit annoying to Patrick, since this was all his idea. He should be the one encouraging David. 

David stops halfway through and clutches the ropes under his arms. Patrick can see fear and anger on his face. “What’s wrong?” calls Lauren. 

“I haven’t been this high up since Jonathan Taylor Thomas gave me some shitty weed and made me go ziplining until I puked!” yells David. Patrick, Gracie, Lauren and even Kyle all laugh, and David looks pained. 

“He’s so funny,” Patrick hears Lauren whisper to Gracie. But the look on David’s face doesn’t look like he was trying to be funny, so Patrick doesn’t really know what to think.

“A few more steps, David, and then you’re here!” he calls.

He meets David’s gaze and holds it, willing him to move forward. David nods the smallest nod, and then takes a deep breath and hurtles forward along the ropes. Patrick’s there waiting for him, an arm outstretched to help catch him as he lands on the platform. For a second, his arm is halfway around David, and he can feel David’s heart thumping against it. For that second, Patrick is breathing as hard as David is, but then it’s over, and Lauren is hugging David and congratulating him. 

“Okay, I’m done here,” says David, and attaches his carabiner to climb down the ladder. Lauren looks disappointed. Patrick feels responsible for David’s misery, since he was the one to suggest high ropes. 

“Yeah, we should probably get the arts and crafts store ready to open,” says Patrick, following David down the ladder. Now Patrick sees a frown on Gracie’s face, but he doesn’t give it much thought because he’s trying to keep his footing.

Once back on the ground, he shucks his high ropes gear and tosses it into the plastic bin. David is there doing the same. “I’m sorry I made you do that,” says Patrick awkwardly as they walk back towards their cabin. 

“It’s fine,” says David, but Patrick wonders if it actually is fine. 

“At least you didn’t puke up bad pot this time,” he says. 

David gives him a wan smile. “Today would more likely be half-frozen waffles,” he says, and Patrick feels much better because at least David can joke about it now.

Patrick eats lunch quickly in order to get to the arts and craft cabin before the afternoon session starts. Apparently David has the same idea, and so do several of the campers, because it’s happy bedlam for twenty minutes before the afternoon session starts and the shop opens.

Patrick stands behind the table as David slowly reaches for the doorknob. “Open the door, David!” squeals the littlest Ashley. David does, and a couple dozen campers pile into the cabin. 

Patrick is busy at the checkout table while David walks around helping the kids. Alexis waltzes in with her cabinmates and comes up to Patrick with the portrait of herself. “Credit, please,” she says, flashing him her braces smile and holding out a credit card. “Um.. we don’t take credit,” he says. “We accept coins up to a dollar and you can also pay with pinecones, sticks or rocks.”

Alexis stares at him with an uncomprehending look. "Where's the manager?" she asks. 

David comes over quickly and tries to snatch the card away from her. “Did you steal Dad’s credit card?” he hisses at her. 

“Ugh, Dad won’t miss one card, David!” she says, ducking out of David’s way and running out of the cabin with both the card and her painting. David rolls his eyes at Patrick over the heads of some campers, and Patrick smiles. 

They exchange a few more commiserating glances over the rest of the afternoon, so by the time afternoon rec period is over and the last camper is out the door clutching a popsicle-stick box in his hands, it feels completely natural that Patrick should hold out his arms to David and say “Congratulations, man.” 

And it feels completely natural for David to move into them and hug Patrick tightly and say, “You too.” And Patrick’s heart is suddenly thumping hard in his chest for some reason, and he isn’t sure what to do because it’s just a hug but also is he having a heart attack? 

He feels like he should probably let go, but doesn’t make a move. David doesn’t either, and Patrick’s mind is whirring when suddenly the sound of the dinner bell reverberates over all the loudspeakers. 

They break apart, and Patrick’s not sure where to look, because he’s not sure what just happened. “Um, it’s time to eat,” says David, and Patrick nods. 

“You go ahead. I’m just going to finish up here,” he says, and David looks surprised. 

He leaves, and Patrick lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He doesn’t particularly want to clean up, and he’s definitely hungry, but more embarrassingly, he’s got a bit of a situation going on and doesn’t want anyone, especially David, to notice. He thought he’d gotten over this happening randomly by the time he was thirteen, but apparently not. 

That’s confusing enough, but what’s more confusing is why his heart won’t slow down. 

Shouldn’t this be what it feels like to skydive or sing in front of a thousand people, and not what it feels like to hug David Rose?


	3. Chapter 3

Patrick doesn’t have much time to sort through the weird jumble of feelings lurking around his middle after the hug with David, not because they go away, but because everything seems to turn upside down as soon as he gets back to the cabin before dinner. David and a few others are there. 

“You’ve got mail,” says David, thrusting something at Patrick.

“Terrible movie,” says Patrick, but David doesn’t smile. Instead, he turns to head out to dinner with Jordan and Cam. 

Patrick looks down at his mail. It’s a postcard from Mount Rushmore and has familiar loopy letters on the back.

_Dear Peetruck, miss ya and wish you were here! You would love the ice cream we had today. Moose Tracks AKA Moose Craps! Love ya lots and C U soon! Love, Roochel_

He grins at the card and Rachel’s ridiculous nicknames that they love calling each other in exaggerated Cockney accents. It started during the musical and kept up after, and they never fail to make each other crack up doing it.

He sets it on his bunk and heads out for dinner before remembering the hug and how David looked when he shoved the postcard at Patrick. 

His insides are still jumbled by the time he arrives at dinner; he barely registers filling his plate with pasta and salad and garlic bread and sitting down at a random table of mostly Cardinal and Eagle cabin members. 

Food helps calm his stomach, though, and he finds himself joking around with the younger boys and the Cardinals’ CIT, Brian. As everyone finishes dessert, Brian leans over to Patrick and whispers, “Hey. Party out in the boathouse after lights out. Spread the word.”

Patrick grins. His CIT last year told him there were sometimes secret staff parties, and he’s excited to go to one. He clears his plate and grabs a slice of garlic bread for the road as he heads outside, but he’s waylaid by Lauren. 

“Gracie says she hopes you brush your teeth!” she says, barely managing to not giggle. 

Patrick doesn’t really know what that’s supposed to mean, but he smiles anyway. 

“Will do,” he says, because he probably will. It’s not that he’s a super fan of hygiene, but he hates the way garlic breath lingers. Once during tech week, one of the drama club moms brought in spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner, and everyone almost died of the collective garlic breath. He remembers Rachel, dressed like a little orphan boy, making gagging faces at him anytime he was singing one of his solos, making him crack up and Ms. Salamone would get so mad. 

Thinking of Rachel makes him think of David again, and he can’t shake the feeling that something is off-kilter all the rest of the evening during Campfire. He finds himself looking for David, but doesn’t see him.

After Campfire, he heads back to the cabin with Cam and Jordan. It’s not until Cam mentions that he might try to go for it with Brigitte that Patrick realizes this is _that_ kind of party. He’s not quite sure what to do with that new bit of knowledge, but luckily it’s driven out of his mind when they get inside the cabin. 

David’s already there, and he looks like he’s been getting ready for awhile. His hair looks perfect, like he blow-dried it; the longer left side looks completely straight. He’s wearing tight-fitting jeans and a shirt that’s buttoned weird. Patrick can’t figure it out. He finds himself glancing at David more than once. 

Cam and Jordan are changing their clothes, and Patrick suddenly feels like a little kid. He didn’t bring anything beyond normal summer clothes, and he definitely didn’t bring body spray like Cam’s. He hears Cam talking to David about Bridgitte, but he’s not paying much attention til he hears David speak.

“Just don’t do the bullshit thing where you insult her and hope that makes her want you,” says David. “Be really nice to her. I complimented Christina Ricci on her look at the Kids’ Choice Awards last year, and she ended up making our limo driver take the long way to the after party.”

Cam had nodded at the first part, but the second part makes him look at David skeptically. Patrick’s heart breaks a little for David and his wild imagination, because the ridiculous stories make him seem a little desperate for friends. It’s weird. 

“You coming?” asks Jordan to Patrick.

Patrick reddens. “Yeah, I’ll catch up,” he says, not wanting to say that he’s going to brush his teeth, because that might seem like he’s expecting to kiss someone at this party, and he certainly is not. 

They all leave, and Patrick brushes his teeth and decides to change into a clean t-shirt when he realizes he’s got a bit of spaghetti sauce on the one he’s wearing. 

He’s a little bit nervous, if he’s honest with himself. His mind suddenly recalls overhearing his mom talking to his aunt Gail last year. 

“Patrick’s a young fourteen,” he’d heard her say. “He’s just not interested in girls yet like Joe is.”

His face flushes again as he remembers the sick feeling in his stomach as he realized people were making observations about him without him knowing it. It had felt so intrusive. He couldn’t help how he was. He doesn’t know why his brain has decided to drag this memory out right now, so he tries to shake it off as he heads out of the cabin. 

The camper cabins are quiet as he treads lightly down the path toward the lake and the boathouse. He’s still a little bit nervous as he pushes open the door. A dozen or so of the counselors and CITs are already there, and Destiny’s Child is playing on a CD player someone brought. Patrick sees a case of Coke and one of Sprite, and a bunch of bottles that are definitely not Coke or Sprite. 

His body moves automatically to where Jordan and Brian are sitting on some old folding chairs, but his eyes are scanning the dimly lit room until they see David, who’s swigging from a bottle that is neither Coke or Sprite, and talking animatedly with Lauren. Patrick watches as Lauren reaches for David’s bottle and takes a sip. Patrick expects David to be grossed out by this because everything grosses David out, but he doesn’t bat an eye.

Patrick sits down with Jordan and Brian, who are talking about how the Blue Jays just beat Cleveland after losing to them yesterday. Patrick hadn’t listened to the game, so Jordan’s filling him in on the details when Gracie arrives with Kim. 

Gracie gives Patrick a little wave, and he returns it hesitantly. Jordan sees this happen and abandons the talk about baseball immediately.

“You should go for it,” he says to Patrick. “She’s really cute.”

Patrick nods, because Gracie actually is very cute. She’s got a smattering of freckles across her nose, her curly hair is down, and she’s got a tank top and plaid shorts on. She looks wholesome enough to be on a commercial for milk or hot cocoa mix or something. But Patrick doesn’t move. 

Kim and Gracie come over to join them, and Patrick scoots his metal chair to make the semicircle bigger. Jordan grabs a bunch of bottles of beer and brings them over, offering some to the girls first, and then handing one to Patrick and one to Brian, before dragging his chair next to Kim, which Patrick thinks is not at all subtle. 

He’s happy to have the bottle to hold onto, even if he’s not sure if he’ll drink it. He’s not even quite sure how to open it. He doesn’t see a bottle opener anywhere. 

“Look, I can open it with my teeth,” Jordan says, trying to do just that. 

Brian hoots, “Idiot, it’s a twist-off!” 

They all laugh, but Patrick feels secretly relieved. He twists off the cap and takes a sip, trying to look like he knows what he’s doing. He’s not sure if it’ll be like pop and if the carbonation will tickle his nose and make him burp. 

It’s not. It’s a weird, watery taste. It’s not amazing, but it’s not terrible, much like the night itself, he thinks. 

Next to him, Gracie makes a face after sipping her beer. “It tastes kind of weird, right?” she leans in and asks him over the music. Patrick is relieved that he doesn’t have to figure out what to say. 

“Yeah, it’s not terrible, just okay,” he says. “It’s better than being thirsty, I guess.” 

Gracie laughs. “You’re really selling it,” she says, and Patrick smiles. 

“Yes, they’re hiring me soon for advertising. ‘Man’s Best! Because We Couldn’t Call It Man’s Okayest’,” he jokes.

Gracie cracks up, and Patrick even laughs. He doesn’t know what he was so worried about. This feels familiar. He could be sitting with Rachel at the cast party. 

“I might just have a little bit of Man’s Okayest,” Gracie says, taking another sip. “My cabin’s crazy in the mornings, so I’m going to be up early.”

“You’re in with the twelves?” Patrick asks, even though he’s pretty sure she is. 

Gracie nods. “They’re highly dramatic. Alexis taught everyone how to put on makeup, and it takes so long to get them all done so they can make it to breakfast.”

The mention of David’s sister causes Patrick’s eyes to fix on David again, just when he’d started to forget that David was here. Gracie follows his glance. 

“They’re so cute,” she says, watching David and Lauren chat as they walk to the doorway where people are smoking. Patrick doesn’t even know what to say to that, so he takes a big swig of beer. He notices that Kim and Jordan are sitting with their knees touching, and Brian’s up now, talking to Christie in a corner next to where Cameron and Bridgitte are definitely making out. 

For a few glorious minutes, Patrick had been successfully functioning at a party, and now everything feels off again. He takes another giant swig, but some beer goes down the wrong pipe and he starts coughing. Gracie pats him on the back, but then she leaves her hand there and Patrick has no idea what to do. He thinks she probably wants to make out, because apparently that’s the general theme in the room. 

Patrick feels the exact way he did at the cast party when everyone wanted to play Spin the Bottle. The look on Rachel’s face when she asked if he wanted to play had made him feel completely overwhelmed. That look didn’t fit with their easy friendship, and Patrick wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what it meant.

The truth is, Patrick’s a huge chicken. He hates that the thought of kissing someone in public makes him nervous and he also wonders what is wrong with him, because he’s fifteen and should want to make out constantly, if his cousin Joey’s any measure to go by. Maybe his mom’s right and he’s young for his age. 

Patrick coughs again, bringing himself back to reality. His butt is sore from the hard metal chair, his mouth tastes funky from the beer, and literally everyone left in the room is deeply enthralled with one another. 

Gracie’s hand is still on his back, but it falls away when Patrick arches his back in a stretch. 

“I… might actually call it a night,” he says, avoiding the disappointed look on Gracie’s face that appears as soon as he starts talking. “Man’s Okayest is giving me a stomachache.” 

Gracie smiles wanly, and Patrick feels like a total jerk. If he weren’t such a nervous dork, he could be kissing her. The problem is, he doesn’t even want to, and that makes him feel even worse. 

“Um, bye,” he says, setting his bottle down as he stands, holding a hand against his stomach to hammer home the stomachache idea, even if she doesn’t buy it.  
  
“ ‘Night,” she says, looking down at her bottle as he moves to the doorway. 

Patrick doesn’t glance back at her as he walks through a cloud of cigarette smoke outside the door. No one seems to care that he’s out there. Kyle and Steve and Mike nod at him. 

“What’s up, Brewer?” says Kyle, but Patrick knows it’s not the kind of invitation to chat. 

“What’s up?” he says in return, dropping his hand from his stomach, but they’re not paying attention anymore. Patrick walks a few steps away toward the path up toward the cabins. 

His feet stop, though, when he sees what’s going on next to the boathouse. David and Lauren are there, pressed up against the wall, kissing. Lauren’s hands are on David’s collar, and David’s hands are on her waist, his fingers sliding under her tank top to clutch her hips.

Patrick feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He doesn’t know what to do, but he can’t tear his eyes away from David and Lauren. He feels his breath catch and then suddenly, thankfully, his feet are moving him away. 

He moves numbly up the path, brain whirring. He thinks the beer was probably a very bad idea, because now he really does feel like he’s going to puke. He takes deep breaths of the night air and tries to sort his thoughts. 

He remembers when he was little and would get upset or frustrated, and his mother would tell him to name his feelings. For a second, he wishes he was in her arms, where he felt safe and loved. 

His brain tries to calm itself and name his feelings. _I’m mad_ , he thinks as he enters the empty, quiet cabin. _I’m mad that Lauren is trying to be his friend_. _Or his girlfriend._

He kicks his shoes off. _I’m pissed because I’m the one who hangs out with him the most, and he’s being weird with me, and I don’t know why._

He climbs up to his bunk, not even bothering to put on pajamas or brush his teeth. He feels Rachel’s postcard under his hand, and shoves it off the bed, listening to it fall lightly to the floor. It doesn’t seem important now. 

He crawls into his sleeping bag and breathes slowly, though his heart is pounding. Only now does he let himself name his biggest feeling. 

_I’m jealous_ , he thinks. _I wish it was me that David was kissing._


	4. Chapter 4

Patrick wakes up early the next morning, even though he’d slept fitfully. 

After his little revelation that maybe wasn’t such a surprise after all, he’d had a hard time falling asleep. 

Once in bed last night, his brain had decided to catalogue all kinds of things, like how Patrick had always felt really special and flattered any time Jeremy, who played the Artful Dodger in _Oliver!_ , had complimented him. He’d told himself it was because Jeremy was a senior and very cool, but now he wonders if it was because Jeremy was also so, so hot.

His thoughts had also come back to Rachel. If he’s into guys, then that would explain why he’d kind of freaked out when she’d all but outright said she wanted to play Spin the Bottle with him, or when anyone had insinuated that they should go out. Patrick had always thought he didn’t like her like that, but now he realizes he maybe _couldn’t_ like her like that.

All these thoughts had continued late into the night, punctuated by the guys coming in at various times, not very quietly. Patrick had held his breath a little when he felt David’s presence and felt the slight lurch of the bunk as he climbed into bed. It was only then that he could finally let himself sleep.

Now the sun is peering weakly through the windows, and Patrick is awake. Rather, his brain is just waking up. 

His body is very, very awake. It’s like it decided on his behalf that all these repressed or ignored or unrealized feelings should all congregate in one place. Patrick can feel his cheeks blush, and he’s so happy no one else is awake. 

He needs to walk it off. There’s zero chance he’s going to do anything else about it, because there’s nowhere private to go, and if this is now his new normal, then he’s got to find a way to ignore it.

He climbs carefully out of bed, happy that he slept in his clothes. He allows himself a glance at David, who’s sleeping heavily, hair over one eye and mouth open. Patrick’s never seen him look so peaceful. He’s always guarded, holding himself like he’s not quite comfortable. 

Gazing at David isn’t making Patrick’s current state any better, so he grabs his shoes and quietly slips out the door. He pauses on the step to slide his shoes on and takes a deep breath. 

It feels different outside. He notices everything- the birds, the bugs, the wind blowing the leaves. No one else is awake, and he fills his lungs with chilly morning air. His feet, which had rescued him last night, turn him now toward the hiking trail that goes around the lake. 

He takes more deep breaths as his mind sorts itself out with each step. _I like David_ , he thinks. _I want to kiss David. I want David._

It’s more than that, though. _I want to know him and I want him to know me_.

He feels looser now, like something has uncoiled within him. He relishes in the feeling of his muscles stretching, like he can’t believe he’s in his body. 

He arrives at a glade of cedar trees almost halfway around the lake. He sits on a log and takes stock; it’s what his brain likes to do.

One, he apparently likes guys. Like, a lot. Like, he can’t believe he didn’t realize it earlier.

Two, he likes one in particular. 

Three, that guy was very hot and heavy with Lauren last night. 

Four, he doesn’t even know if David is into guys.

Five, but it seems like maybe he did like Patrick? 

Five-b. That hug.

Six, he is also acting very weird around Patrick.

He supposes he should probably try to talk to David, but what if it’s not the right thing to do? What if he’s going out with Lauren? What if he doesn’t like Patrick like that? What if Patrick embarrasses himself in front of the one person whose opinion he cares about?

The questions hang in the air. Patrick rubs his face. His dad has always calmed Patrick down by reminding him to focus on one thing at a time. He decides he’ll only focus on what he can control, which is that he knows he likes David. He takes a deep breath of the cool morning air and sets back down the path around the lake. 

He makes it back to the dining hall in time for breakfast, and can’t help but scan the room for David. He’s sitting at a table with Lauren and a couple others, and Patrick sees David glance in his direction and turn his face away quickly. Patrick can feel his cheeks burn as he avoids looking straight at them.  
  
Instead, Patrick fills a plate and sits down at a random table, not even caring who’s there. Talking to people is normally easy for him; he likes it, even, but today, his brain is not working correctly. He makes some small talk about baseball with a couple of the kids, but it’s not until one of them mentions the arts and crafts store that Patrick jolts out of his fuzz. He completely forgot about arts and crafts. He’ll have to face David for three hours this afternoon. 

He clears his plate and moves to the door, where he nearly runs into Gracie, who’s just coming in with a few girls from her cabin, including David’s sister. They all have glittery eyelids and shiny lip gloss, and Patrick suddenly remembers the conversation with Gracie last night, and the incredibly terrible way he left. He can’t meet her eye, and she avoids his, too, and he sighs when he gets outside.

He doesn’t know what to do for morning rec time; he could use a shower and he really should brush his teeth, but there’s no way he wants to run into David at the cabin. 

Instead, he decides to just avoid the cabin and get lost in a soccer game with a bunch of campers. His body feels better when he’s running around, and then he only has to think about the game, and not anything else that might be on his mind. 

He takes his chances on showering at lunch, and there’s no David in sight. He’s okay with that. He jogs to the dining hall halfway through lunch, but doesn’t see David there, either. 

He waits until the last possible moment before heading to the arts and crafts cabin, and he’s relieved when the littlest Ashley bounces up to him and joins him, chattering about her bookmarks and the store and how she wishes they could have the store every day.

“But if we had the store every day, it wouldn’t be special,” says Patrick. “Now you can make things to take home. I’ll teach you how to do leaf rubbings today if you want.”

Ashley jumps up and down, saying, “Yes! Yes!” as Patrick opens the door to the cabin. 

David’s already there, and he looks up as Ashley bounds in. Patrick follows more slowly, not sure what he should say. He figures he should start with “hi”.  
  
“Hi,” he says, his voice a little louder than he’d like.  
  
“Hi.” David’s voice is quieter, and it seems like he doesn’t quite know where to look.  
  
“Hi, David!” calls Ashley, which seems to jolt David out of whatever’s going on. 

“Hey… you,” he says.

“Um, I told her we could do leaf rubbings today,” says Patrick, and David looks relieved. The Patrick of yesterday would have been thrilled to make a rubbing joke, the Patrick of today wouldn’t dream of it.  
  
“Leaf rubbing is… great,” says David as a bunch of campers come in the door. 

Patrick takes a moment to collect himself and is telling the littlest Ashley and a few of the other younger campers to go get some white paper and a crayon each when the door opens and Candace comes in, followed by Gracie and someone who Patrick thinks is the Chickadees’ counselor. Gracie’s eyes are red, and Patrick is suddenly nervous. 

“David? Can you come here?” asks Candace. Patrick’s stomach drops when he sees the look on David’s face. 

“Where is she?” What’s wrong?” asks David, crossing the room more quickly than Patrick’s ever seen him move. 

“Go find another activity to do,” Candace tells the campers, who are looking curious. Patrick herds them to the door, but he doesn’t leave.  
  
“We can’t find Alexis,” says Candace. David’s face is white, and Gracie starts crying silently.

“No one’s seen her since breakfast ended. Do you know where she might be?” asked Candace. 

“Since breakfast? That’s more than four hours ago!” sputters David. “Do you know how far she could get in four hours?” 

“Do you know how much money she might have on her?” asks Candace, as David starts to pace.  
  
“She blew most of her cash on makeup right before we got here, so she should only have maybe two hundred left,” says David. 

“She had a credit card. Yesterday.” Patrick hears himself say, and everyone looks at him. “She tried to use it here at the shop.”

David looks horrified. “Oh, fuck. She did.”

Candace looks grim. “Okay, both of you come with me. We need to call the police.”

David looks like he’s going to throw up as they all leave the arts and crafts cabin, Candace leading the way.

It’s not until they’re practically jogging to keep up with Candace and the others that David looks at Patrick with a face that breaks Patrick’s heart.  
  
“Patrick…” he croaks out, and Patrick nods. 

“I know,” he says. “We’ll find her.”

They don’t speak again until they’re in the camp office. David is ashen as Candace calls the police and opens a filing cabinet. Gracie sits in the chair next to Patrick’s. 

“It’s all my fault,” she sobs, resting her hand on Patrick’s arm. “I told her to get her butt in gear before she missed breakfast, and she got mad and told me she could get me fired!” 

This elicits a snort from David. “She says that to everybody. No offense,” he says. “But if she wanted to leave, she’d find a way. She’s like a velociraptor.”

That doesn’t make anyone feel any better.

“David, I’m looking at your emergency forms. Your emergency contact is Vanessa Martino?” asks Candace, and David nods. 

“She’s, um, my dad’s PA,” he says.

They all must look confused, because he adds, “Personal assistant.” 

Candace dials the number and leaves a message asking Vanessa to call her back. Patrick can tell she hopes Alexis will be found before that happens. 

“Do you know who else might know anything about where Alexis might be?” Candace asks Gracie and the Chickadee counselor.  
  
“Um, maybe Ashley Saunders, Ashley Miller-Bosch and Courtney? That’s who she was talking to at breakfast,” offers Gracie. 

The counselor gets up to go find them, and Parick watches David’s face as she leaves. He wishes he could hold David’s hand through this. 

It’s only a few minutes after she’s gone that the police officers show up, and then it’s a whirlwind. The officers start asking questions to Gracie and David.

“My parents are in Europe,” Patrick hears David say. “Um, they might be at Gordon and Trudy’s summer house this week.”

“Do you know their last names?” the officer asks, and David reddens.

“Um, I don’t … he’s Sting,” David says. 

The officer stares at him. “Your parents are at Sting’s summer house?”

“My parents own the Rose Video chain, and my mother’s an actress on Sunrise Bay,” says David, still looking embarrassed.

Patrick stares at David. All the weird things David has said suddenly make sense. This explains so much - why his stories are so bizarre and why he acts like he’s never seen half the things Patrick has. 

“Is there anyone else who might know where Alexis went? Or who she might contact?” asks the officer. 

“I guess you could try Adelina. She’s our na-… she takes care of us. But she might be in Lisbon right now,” says David.

“Do you have her number?” asks the officer, and David looks down at his lap. 

“I don’t know it by heart. It’s in my cell phone in my cabin,” he says, and then he looks straight at Patrick as though he needs help.  
  
“I can go get it,” Patrick offers. The officer nods and David gives him a half-smile.  
  
“It’s in my top drawer,” David says softly.

Patrick runs the whole way to the cabin. It’s empty when he gets in there, and he immediately goes to David’s dresser. The cell phone isn’t in the top drawer. Patrick moves the skin products and watch and assorted things around, but the phone definitely isn’t there. 

He pats through every other drawer, ignoring the fact that at one point, he’s raking his hands through David’s underwear. It feels weirdly intimate to be touching someone else’s clothes. 

In the bottom drawer beneath some pants that have weird zippers all over, Patrick feels something solid. He pulls it out and sees it’s a small picture frame with a photo of an older woman with her arms around a much-younger David and Alexis. The smile on David’s face is wide and toothy, and Patrick’s never seen it on the David he knows. He’s sad for a moment until he remembers what he’s supposed to be doing.  
  
He replaces the photo and looks through David’s empty luggage before feeling under his pillow. No phone. He jogs back to the office and bursts through the door, where the Chickadee counselor is back with three teary twelve-year-old girls. 

The look on David’s face is so hopeful that Patrick hates to disappoint him. 

“I can’t find the phone,” he says, and David’s face falls. 

“She took my phone. Of course she did,” says David. He stands up and begins pacing. He continues as one of the officers asks Patrick about the credit card. 

“I didn’t see it closely, but it was black,” he says. He hears the other officer asking the girls questions, and hears one of them say that Alexis was talking about a summer birthday.  
  
“Her birthday’s in November, not summer. She was pissed that we went to Aspen, because she wanted to go to St. Moritz,” says David. 

Patrick watches him pace around the small room as the officers keep talking. David’s agitation fills the room like a fog. Patrick feels utterly helpless.

The officers talk to Candace, and then turn to David. “We’re going to make some calls, and we’ll find your sister,” one of them says. 

David looks sick. “We... can pay for whatever,” he says haltingly. 

The officer smiles. “Not necessary. We’ll be in touch shortly, Candace.”

They leave, and Candace tells the campers they can leave. She turns to David, who’s still pacing. 

“Why don’t you go back to your cabin? I’ll let you know the minute we hear anything,” she says gently, and David stops, his shoulders falling.  
  
“I’ll take him,” Patrick says, jumping up. Neither of them says anything on the walk back to the cabin. Patrick has no idea what to say even if he did want to talk.

The cabin is still empty, and the cool silence seems to uncork something in David. He slumps against their bunk and looks at Patrick. “I don’t know what to do,” he says, voice cracking slightly. 

“They’ll find her. She can’t have gotten very far,” says Patrick, hoping his words make a difference even though they sound hollow. 

David barks a laugh and looks at the ceiling. “You don’t know Alexis. She’s very determined and she literally always gets what she wants, so wherever she’s going, she’ll get there.”

Patrick doesn’t know what to say. Then David looks at him. “But she’s only twelve, and she’s my baby sister, and I need to know she’s okay.” 

His voice cracks again, and Patrick wordlessly opens his arms. David crumples into them, his face pressed into Patrick’s shoulder. He feels a sob escape David. “She’ll be okay,” Patrick says quietly into David’s ear and rubs his hand over David’s back. He feels David’s breathing even out, and then David pulls away. He turns away from Patrick.  
  
“I think I’m going to lay down,” David says to the ceiling. 

Patrick understands. “I’ll leave you alone,” he says, moving to the door. 

David turns to him, eyes red. “Um, thank you. For everything.”

His words and the sincerity and sadness in his voice pierce Patrick’s heart. He gives David a tentative smile and closes the door. 

\--

At dinner, Alexis is the talk of the dining hall. Patrick sits down with Cameron and Jordan, and they’re soon joined by some of the girls. Patrick doesn’t look directly at Lauren, because he has no idea what to say, even though last night seems like a million years ago. 

The others talk about Alexis and where she might be, but Patrick doesn’t pay attention until he hears Lauren say, “I think I’ll go check on David.”

“Oh, he wants to be alone right now. I told him I’d bring him some food,” says Patrick. 

Lauren looks grateful. “You’re a good friend, Patrick,” she says, and that makes Patrick feel like a jerk, because he lied.

He decides to make good on his lie and bring David some food, because he’s got to be hungry by now.

At the cabin, he opens the door and is surprised to see David asleep. He’s curled in his bunk, mouth open, and the worry lines normally on his forehead are smooth. Patrick’s stomach gives an involuntary flip, and he’s filled with fondness.  
  
He doesn’t want to leave food out because of the mice, but he knows David will be hungry. He remembers his mom sent him to camp with a few boxes of granola bars, so goes quietly into his bottom drawer and finds the one bar that’s left. He sets it on the bed next to David, and then unties David’s shoes and takes them off. Then he carefully pulls David’s impossibly soft blanket over him and quietly leaves the cabin.  
  
He slowly eats the hot dog and chips as he heads back to the dining hall to drop off the plate, and then he’s swept up into an epic game of Capture the Flag for the evening activity. It feels good to move his body and keep his mind occupied for several hours. When it’s done, Patrick makes his way back to the cabin, happy with the blue team’s victory, but utterly exhausted. 

David’s still asleep, the granola bar still next to him. Patrick gets ready for bed and then sinks happily into his mattress. 

He falls asleep almost instantly, but not before he hears the soft crinkle of the granola bar wrapper being opened. He drifts off, a small smile on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

David’s not in bed the next morning, a first. Patrick is up before most of the other guys, so he gets ready quietly and heads out, even though it’s not quite breakfast. Just outside the door, he nearly runs into David. He’s got dark circles under his eyes even though he slept for fourteen hours straight.    
  
“Candace says there’s no news yet,” David says. “I’m going back to bed.”

He passes Patrick, who turns. “Do you want me to bring you some food?” Patrick asks.

“You don’t have to do that,” says David, and heads for his bunk. Patrick notices he didn’t say no. 

At breakfast, he goes to sit with the other CITs. Lauren asks after David, and Patrick tells her that he’s sleeping. Gracie comes over from her cabin’s table, looking pale and red-eyed.    
  
“I just keep replaying yesterday morning over in my mind,” she says. “I just don’t know what to do. I’m so upset!”

Patrick sighs, and before he can stop himself, he looks at Gracie. “No offense, but this isn’t really about you.”

She looks horrified, and he feels terrible. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. It’s just that you didn’t actually do anything wrong.”

Gracie looks like she’s going to start crying again, and Lauren and Kim are looking at Patrick like he’s being a huge asshole, which he probably is. Jordan looks like he’s trying not to laugh. 

“I just… Alexis is a stubborn kid who wants what she wants, and I don’t know that anyone could’ve stopped her,” Patrick says, trying to ignore Jordan, who’s miming digging a hole.

Gracie looks slightly mollified, but Patrick wants to get out as fast as he can. He grabs a bagel and packet of cream cheese on his way out for David. 

Back in the cabin, David is curled up on his bunk. Patrick assumes he’s asleep and goes to leave the food on David’s dresser, mice or no mice.

“Why do you keep doing that?” asks David, turning over to face Patrick. 

“Doing what?” asks Patrick.

“Bringing me food. Why are you being so nice?” 

Patrick thinks about how whenever something bad happens to someone they know, his mom or dad will whip up a pan of lasagna or baked ziti and bring it over. “People need to be taken care of,” his mom always says. 

“I just… you need to eat,” he says, because  _ I want to take care of you _ is a lot to say.

David looks skeptical. “You don’t believe me?” asks Patrick. 

“I’m just trying to figure out what you want from me,” says David. 

Patrick is bewildered. “I don’t want anything from you,” he says, too shocked to think about what he does actually want from David. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I just had to ask,” says David, looking ashamed. “People can... treat me differently once they find out about my family, and that we, um, have money.”

“I’m sorry,” says Patrick. It’s the first thought that comes to mind. “That sucks.”

“Yeah, I mean, I can’t ever complain because like, money is awesome, but it’s hard to trust people,” says David. A look of embarrassment flows over his face. 

“Well, you can trust me,” says Patrick, and feels warm inside. A thought occurs to him. “Hey, I brought you food before I knew about, um, you, so that should tell you something.”

David smiles, the first genuine smile Patrick has seen in awhile. “You’re right,” David says.

Patrick matches his smile. “It just so happens that my hobby is bringing people food.”

“You have an illustrious career as a waiter ahead of you,” says David, and Patrick lets out a genuine laugh.

“Don’t tell my mom. She’s already sad that I’m going to be a famous guitarist who’s also the Blue Jays’ star pitcher,” he says, flexing his hands and making David’s smile widen, which gives him butterflies in his stomach.

“Yes, your hands will get quite the workout,” says David, and then they’re both red and not looking directly at each other anymore. 

“Yeah, and I’ll be in all kinds of magazines… like Sports and Guitars Illustrated,” says Patrick lamely, because he can’t unscramble his brains long enough to keep the banter going. 

Luckily, Candace comes in the door just then and all innuendos are forgotten as David bolts off his bed. 

“David, good news,” she says. “We got ahold of Vanessa, who talked to the credit card company, and it looks like Alexis took a cab to the airport and chartered a plane, so Vanessa is arranging for someone to meet her when she lands and bring her back.”

The look of relief on David’s face makes Patrick’s shoulders untense a little. But still- chartering a  _ plane _ ?

“Oh, thank God,” says David. “But good luck getting her to come right back. She can talk her way out of anything. Last year a disgruntled Rose Video employee tried to kidnap us from Rumer Willis’s birthday party, and Alexis managed to talk him out of it and into stealing one of our dad’s classic cars instead.”

Patrick and Candace both stare a little, but Candace composes herself. “Okay, well, I’ll keep you updated. We should hear something soon.”

“Did my parents call?” asks David, and Candace looks a little embarrassed. 

“No, but I’ll let you know if they do.”

She leaves and David sinks down on his bed again. He looks exhausted again.    
  
“Are you okay?” asks Patrick. David nods. 

“I think I’m going to lay down again,” he says. 

“I’ll take care of arts and crafts this afternoon. You don’t have to worry about it,” says Patrick, and David looks up to give him a half-smile. 

Patrick returns it with a half-smile of his own, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to be happy if Alexis isn’t back safe and sound yet. 

\--

Patrick spends the rest of the morning rehearsing his song for Talent Night on Kyle’s guitar. His fingers find the chords and he sings quietly in the glade around the lake. It’s exactly the kind of break he needs, and by the time lunch is ready and he gives the guitar back to Kyle, he’s excited to see people again. 

At Arts and Crafts, he’s relieved that Elise is there. She breaks her “no fire” rule and pulls out a bin of little wooden boxes and the woodburner tool. The kids crowd around her to watch as she helps each kid burn a design into the lid. 

“Where’s David?” asks the littlest Ashley, looking around the cabin.    
  
“He’s not feeling too well,” says Patrick, but she doesn’t look placated.

“Did he throw up?” she asks interestedly.    
  
“No, but his tummy is a little worried so he’s taking a nap,” says Patrick.

Ashley brightens. “I want to make him a present!”

Patrick smiles. When it’s Ashley’s turn for the woodburner, she suddenly acts shy. 

“You do it,” she says, and Elise hands Patrick the woodburner.    
  
“What should we write on it?” he asks, and Ashley looks interested again. 

“Write ‘David, I hope your tummy feels better’.”

Patrick looks thoughtful. “How about just ‘David’?” 

She nods, looking delighted. He carefully burns David’s name on the hinged lid of the box and hands it to her. 

“Want to decorate the rest?” he asks, and she grabs it and skips to the table that has the bucket of markers.

By the time arts and crafts is over for the afternoon, she’s decorated the box with wobbly hearts all over, and Patrick’s heart melts. 

He goes to his cabin before going to dinner because carrying around a wooden box with David’s name and a bunch of hearts on it isn’t exactly something he wants to be questioned about. 

David’s awake and alone when he goes in. “She’s on her way back,” he says as soon as Patrick is inside the door.    
  
“Oh, wow,” says Patrick, and all he wants to do is hug David.    
  
“I mean, I can’t rest easy until she’s back, but this is good, this is good,” says David.

“It’s great,” says Patrick. “Oh, here. This is for you.” 

He holds out the wooden box and feels a little silly. Who makes a craft for their friend who maybe should be more than a friend? 

David takes it, and Patrick watches his face. He looks confused at first, then his cheeks flush a little rosy, and then he looks up at Patrick.    
  
“You made me a stash box?” he asks, a bit of wonder in his tone.

“A what?” asks Patrick.

David waves his hand in a familiar gesture that’s so endearing it makes Patrick’s chest tighten. 

“Never mind,” David says.

“Uh, I just did your name, and Ashley decorated it. The little one? She wanted me to tell you she hopes your tummy feels better. I told her your tummy was worried.”

Patrick’s hands are sweaty. Was this a good idea?

David’s face is soft and so’s his voice. “No one’s ever just made me something like this before.”   
  
Patrick’s entire body is sweaty. He can feel his heart pounding, and he wants to say something, but doesn’t know what. David is looking at him, and that’s unnerving. 

He decides to be a little bit brave.

“How come you didn’t tell me about your family before?” he asks, his voice loud and reverberating off the wooden cabin walls. He doesn’t mean to be so loud, and he watches David wince a little, like he knew this would happen. 

“I don’t really think about my family,” says David his soft tone, the one that makes Patrick want to hug him. “I mean, I do, but we aren’t a touchy-feely family like yours.”

Patrick must look confused because David continues, a little more passionately.

“My little sister took off for who knows where, and my parents haven’t even called to see how I’m doing. They had my dad’s assistant do it.”

Patrick doesn’t know what to say. David keeps going.

“They shipped us here because our nanny had to go to Portugal because her dad is dying, and they couldn’t be bothered to cancel their trip to Europe while my mom’s show is on summer hiatus,” David says, his eyes shiny. 

“I’m… sorry,” says Patrick, knowing it doesn’t mean anything. 

“It’s just hard to be ditched in the woods where money can’t actually buy anything, unless you’re my klepto little sister,” David says.

Patrick still doesn’t know what to say.

“I know I sound like an asshole,” says David. “But you belong here. This place… fits you. I don’t belong here. I’ve never slept in a bunk bed. I never had to get my food from a trough and carry it to a table. I mean, you saved up your allowance to buy your guitar. I’ve never had to do that. I don’t fit here.”

“I wish you felt like you did,” says Patrick. It’s the truth. 

A wince flashes across David’s face. “I know I sound like a poor little rich kid. We’re just… very different people who lead very different lives,” he says.

“But you fit with Lauren?” Patrick asks before he can stop himself. He can’t believe he just said that, and apparently, neither can David, because he quirks an eyebrow up. 

“Lauren can debate the fit of Versace versus Armani, and she wants to be a fashion designer. We get along well,” says David. 

Patrick nods. This should be enough, but he can’t help burst out with, “Are you going out with her?”

David twists his mouth just a little. “No.”

Relief and confusion both crash over Patrick, and he hopes it doesn’t show on his face. 

“But at the boathouse…” he trails off, realizing how childish he sounds. 

David gives him a wry smile. “Haven’t you ever partied real hard and gotten fucked up and just wanted to make out with someone?”

Patrick can’t even bring himself to say no, so he shakes his head. David’s face softens a little. 

“Well, you should try it sometime. You and your girlfriend should get drunk or do some Ecstasy and then make out. It’s incredible.”

Patrick is suddenly confused. “My girlfriend?” he says stupidly.

Now David looks uncertain. “The one who sent you that postcard? I didn’t mean to read it, but… it’s a postcard.”

“Oh, Rachel. We’re just friends. She’s not my girlfriend.” The words spew out of Patrick.

David’s cheeks are pink and he pauses for a moment before he speaks again. “I don’t have a girlfriend either. Or, um, a boyfriend.” 

He looks at Patrick with a glint of something like defiance in his eyes, as though waiting for Patrick to say something awful, as if Patrick ever would or could.

Patrick can’t say anything because his heart is beating too fast. He feels like a door has been opened in front of him, but his feet are like lead and he can’t move. 

David’s gaze is still on him, and finally enough air is in Patrick’s lungs that he can speak.   
  
“That’s cool. I’m… not going out with anybody either.”

He feels a stab of misery because he can’t say what he wants to. He wills David to understand, but he can’t tell if David does. 

After a moment, David breaks the silence. “I don’t want to keep you from dinner.”

Patrick nods. “Do you want me to bring you something?”

David shakes his head. “I’m not hungry. I’m just going to hang out here.”   
  
Patrick smiles tentatively. “You should come to the evening activity. It’s movie night.”

David looks skeptical. “What’s the movie?” he asks.

“The Parent Trap. The new one,” Patrick replies, and David barks a laugh.

“My sister got us kicked off the red carpet at the premiere last summer because she tripped Lindsay Lohan’s body double. Alexis was pissed because she’d auditioned for it herself and didn’t get it.”

Patrick laughs as David continues. “If she’d gotten the part, then maybe she’d know how the fuck to behave at summer camp and wouldn’t be…”

His face crumples a little; he stops talking and swallows. His eyes are shiny and Patrick’s heart aches. 

“She’ll be okay,” he says quietly. “Someone’s bringing her back right now. She’s safe.”

David turns away, but he’s nodding. “Thank you,” he says quietly as Patrick leaves the cabin.

\--

Later, while the British Lindsay and her friends are getting absolutely destroyed in their booby-trapped cabin onscreen, Patrick glances over the head of the camper next to him and sees David slip into a chair in the back row next to Lauren. She seems really happy to see him and gives him a hug. 

Over her shoulder, David catches Patrick’s eye and gives him a tentative smile. Patrick returns it until the hug breaks, and he turns back to the movie. 

He’s almost surprised at himself when he realizes he’s not jealous of Lauren at all anymore, because however miniscule, something has changed between him and David. He can’t quite name it, but he feels it, and somehow it feels right.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt like posting again today because I haven't really left my house in eight days, so here you go!

Jordan’s the one to spot the car the next morning as Patrick is walking to breakfast with him and Cameron. 

“Oh shit, is that David’s sister?” he asks, pointing toward the gate. Patrick’s heart flips as he sees a blonde head in the back window of a car.    
  
“Yeah!” he says, relief washing over him. “I’ll go get David. You don’t have to wait for me.”

He doesn’t even wait for a response before he’s running back past the campers streaming toward the dining hall. 

David’s just coming out of the bathroom, wiping his face on a towel when Patrick slams the door open. 

“David!” he calls. “She’s back!”

David drops the towel on the floor and moves past Patrick out the door. Patrick hesitates for a moment, not sure if he should intrude on this family moment, but David looks back at him and indicates for him to come.

They throw the door to the office open, and there’s Alexis, surrounded by Candace and the woman who owns the camp, and a woman Patrick has never seen before who presumably brought Alexis back. 

“Oh, thank God,” says David, catching his breath. The adults all smile worried, relieved smiles, but Alexis looks annoyed. 

“David, it was, like, one little trip,” she says as he reaches out a hand to clutch her shoulder.    
  
“We’ll let you have a moment,” says Candace. “We’ll walk Li back to the car.”

David turns to the stranger. “Thank you for bringing my sister back from...”

“Hong Kong,” Li says.

“Hong Kong,” David breathes in disbelief, and then composes himself. “Um, I’m sure my father will be happy to compensate you for your time and effort.”

“Ms. Martino has already taken care of that,” Li says, smiling at David. 

“And made a sizable donation to the camp, too, I’m sure,” says David drily, and both Candace and the camp owner blush a little red. 

“We’ll let you two catch up,” says Candace. 

Li smiles at Alexis. “It was lovely to meet you, Alexis. Be a good girl.”

Alexis flashes her braces-filled smile and shakes Li’s hand. “It was so nice to meet you, too. And remember what I said about wedges. They’re not going to give you the same leg line as a stiletto or even a kitten heel.”

The moment the office door closes, David loses all the composure he’d been holding onto. 

“Hong Kong?” he shouts. “You just ran away to Hong Kong?”

“I didn’t run away, David! I was going to Summer’s birthday party!” Alexis shouts back.

“In Hong Kong? You’re a sociopath! You can’t just take off and charter a plane and not tell anyone!”

“I told Ashley Miller-Bosch that I was going to Summer’s birthday!”

“She’s not an adult! She’s not responsible for you! Do you have any idea how worried I was?” 

David’s voice is loud but he sounds like he might cry at any moment. Patrick wishes he could help. 

David reaches his hands out, and for a wild moment, Patrick thinks he’s going to shake Alexis. Instead, he pulls Alexis to him and wraps his arms around her.   
  
“I didn’t know if you were safe or dead or kidnapped...” he says wetly into her hair. Patrick’s sure he’s about to burst into tears.

“I’m fine, David,” he hears Alexis say, and David squeezes her tighter, rubbing her back. 

“Ow! Don’t!” she says, pulling back, and Patrick is confused until David spins her around, pulling up the back of her tank top to reveal a bandage on her lower back, just above the waistband of the cotton skirt that hangs low on her hips. Patrick’s heart clenches at the thought that she got hurt when she was all alone out in the world.

David apparently thinks differently.

“A TATTOO?” he shouts. “You got a tattoo? Alexis! You’re twelve!”

Alexis wrenches herself away. “Relax, David.” 

David looks like he’s trying to compose himself. “What is it?” he asks in a more normal tone.

“It says ‘That’s hot’ in Cantonese. Me and Summer and Prairie and Jessie all got them.”

David closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “That’s fucking stupid, and I’m telling Mom and Dad.”

Now Alexis looks upset. “David, if you tell Mom and Dad, I’ll tell them what happened to Mom’s zebra coat that she got from Kim Basinger.”

David’s look of anger moves to a look of resignation and he huffs, “Fine. But where’s my cell phone?”

Alexis looks smug. “Don’t worry, literally nobody called you.”

David’s face blanches when she says that, but then he looks irritated again. “That’s not the point. I want my phone.”

Alexis pulls the cell phone and charger out of her pocket and shoves it at him.    
  
“Thank you. That wasn’t hard, was it?” David says sarcastically.

Alexis looks pleased. “I’m going to find my friends now,” she says, shouldering a brown bag as she turns the doorknob.

“Wait, you stole Mom’s bag, too?” asks David incredulously.

“Take a chill pill, David, it’s fake. Mom told me,” Alexis says, rolling her eyes before she leaves, pulling the door closed behind her.

Once it’s closed, David sighs, and his body droops.    
  
“Are you okay?” asks Patrick tentatively.

David nods. “Yeah. That went as well as to be expected. She’s a literal nightmare. She’s a little nightmarish tornado that never stops destroying things.”

“But she’s safe now,” says Patrick, opening the door and motioning David through. He expects David to keep ranting, but he gives Patrick a sad smile.   
  
“She is.”

Patrick’s not sure where the conversation should head, so he reaches for the easiest thing.

“Are you coming to the Color War?” he asks.

“What the hell is the Color War? Do the Springs fight the Summers?” asks David, looking skeptical. “Because I’m a Winter and I don’t have the right clothes for a fight.”

“What? No. It’s for Canada Day. Everyone’s assigned to either the Red Team or the White Team, and there’s all kinds of events to compete in. You could do the shoe kick, or the hula hoop race,” says Patrick.

David shoots him a look that says he’s not sure if Patrick is joking. 

“Do I look like someone who might participate in anything involving a hula hoop? And these shoes cost more than camp tuition.”

Patrick grins, and David gives him a hesitant smile in return, which Patrick takes as acknowledgment that David now knows Patrick is teasing him.

“Well, you should at least come to dinner. It’s a cookout tonight, and then Talent Night and fireworks.”

David perks up as soon as Patrick mentions the cookout. “I might be convinced,” he says. 

“Talent Night convinced you?” teases Patrick. “I’m so happy you’ll come see me be talented. I’ll dedicate my song to you!”

David looks embarrassed. “Oh God. It’s not embarrassing at all to have your friend play a guitar and sing in front of a bunch of people.”

Patrick’s ear catches a word, and his stomach squirms with pleasure. 

“Wait, David. Did you just admit I’m your friend?” he asks, still in his teasing tone, but he can feel joy curling around the word. 

David rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Shut up.”

“No, David, you’ve got a friend in me. ‘You’ve got a friend in meeee’,” he starts to sing and David waves him away.

“If you sing that tonight, I’m running away to Hong Kong.”

Patrick laughs. “I can’t promise I won’t. You’ll just have to be there.”

David shakes his head; he’s still smiling. They’re coming up to the split in the path, and Patrick is heading to the crowd at the lake. David goes the other way toward the cabins, but not before Patrick catches a glance from him.

“See you later, friend!”

“Bye, Patrick.”

\---

It’s late afternoon before Patrick jogs back to the cabin. He’s soaking wet from the water balloon toss that got out of hand, there’s a broken raw egg running down his leg from the egg and spoon race, and he couldn’t be happier. He’d chosen the littlest Ashley to be his partner for that, and the absolute joy on her face reminded Patrick of how much he loved camp and making people happy.

David’s not in the cabin, and Patrick’s kind of happy David isn’t seeing him in this messy state. His shower feels amazing, and it’s not until he’s drying himself off that he realizes he’s going to be onstage in front of the entire camp and so might actually want to take care in dressing. 

He wraps his towel around his waist and walks out of the bathroom. David is standing by their bunk bed, and he definitely turns red when he sees Patrick. “I just came to put away my Discman,” David blurts, shoving the Discman into one of his drawers. He’s out the door before Patrick can even say anything.    
  
Patrick’s happy that Cam and Jordan are both also getting ready and making lots of noise, because it helps the situation that’s threatening to happen under his towel. He gets dressed, pulling out the short-sleeved blue button-down his mom suggested he pack. It looks good with his shorts, and he takes a second look in the mirror to check his hair.

“Ooh, fancy!” teases Kim a little later when Patrick joins the group at a big picnic table, his plate heaped with barbecue.    
  
“Patrick, you look like Pacey,” says Christie, and the girls laugh when Patrick’s cheeks flush.    
  
“I think you look nice,” says Gracie, smiling at Patrick. He smiles back, not knowing how good it would feel to know she’s not mad at him. Alexis’s return seems to have reset their friendship.    
  
Cam and Bridgitte move along the bench to make room for Lauren and David, who looks a little shy at his return to the world. 

“You must be so happy Alexis is back,” says Gracie as David gingerly sits down.    
  
“I am, even though she’s a maniac,” David responds, and Gracie laughs.    
  
“She jumped right back in like she hadn’t been gone at all. We rehearsed for Talent Night and she had all kinds of ideas to improve the choreography,” says Gracie, and David groans. Patrick laughs with the rest of them, realizing how happy he is to have David back. 

\--

After dinner, everyone who’s in Talent Night has to meet in the dining hall, so Patrick says bye to his friends as they all scatter.   
  
“Good luck,” says David.    
  
“It’s break a leg,” says Patrick.

“Either way, I hope nothing terrible happens to the guitar, meaning you won’t be able to sing after all,” says David. 

“Oh, I’ll do it a cappella if I have to,” Patrick says as cockily as he can, and he’s rewarded by a confused, embarrassed smile from David. 

In the dining hall, the tables are gone and chairs are arranged in rows. A few of the counselors are helping run the thing, and the room is in happy confusion. As he waits, he feels a thrill of anticipation in his stomach. He doesn’t get nervous exactly; he knows he can do it, and God knows he’s played his song on his guitar enough to know it backward and forward.

\--

Later, the dining hall is full of audience members, and Patrick feels the energy in the room increasing. It’s such a great feeling. He glances around but doesn’t see David right away.

Alexis’s cabin takes the stage, and Patrick sees David slip into the back of the room. 

The girls sing along to a B*Witched song on the CD player and do a choreographed dance. When they sing, “I’ll huff, I’ll puff, I’ll blow you away!” with accompanying Big Bad Wolf moves, Patrick sees David’s face break into a smile that he tries to hide, and Patrick’s heart fills with fondness. He feels like he’s collecting these little moments when David lets his guard down. 

Finally, it’s Patrick’s turn. He carries the guitar and a stool onstage amidst a big round of applause. He loves the sight of all the smiling faces in the audience and he can’t help grinning back at them. 

“This song is dedicated to you, my friend,” he says, winking at the audience, and a bunch of people giggle. Patrick can’t quite bring himself to look at the one person who knows what it means.

His fingers find their places on the strings, and he begins strumming the opening chords. People recognize the song and he hears whispers. 

He starts to sing, and the room goes quiet.

_ Today is gonna be the day _

_ That they're gonna throw it back to you _

_ By now you should've somehow _

_ Realized what you gotta do _

_ I don't believe that anybody _

_ Feels the way I do, about you now. _

His eyes finally slide across the audience to David, who’s standing at the back, jaw dropped slightly open. 

Patrick keeps singing, moving his eyes around the room over the next verse, barely registering the looks of admiration he’s getting. But his eyes are drawn back to the bright spot at the back of the room.

_ And all the roads we have to walk are winding _

_ And all the lights that lead us there are blinding _

Patrick’s heart is beating fast and he’s pouring everything he feels into the lyrics, hoping David can understand what he’s trying to say, what he can’t say in proper words.

_ There are many things that I _

_ Would like to say to you but I don't know how _

The look on David’s face fills Patrick with a surge of joy. David’s smiling again, but his eyes are shiny, and his whole face is… open. Patrick’s never seen him look like this. He’s beautiful.

Patrick can’t pull his eyes away and neither can David. As Patrick comes to the end, David’s face blooms even more, and Patrick sings right to him. 

_ I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me _

_ you're gonna be the one that saves me _

_ you're gonna be the one that saves me. _

His fingers slow down on the final notes as the room erupts in applause and shouts. 

Patrick blushes. He catches David’s eye. David is shaking his head slowly, but he’s smiling and clapping. Patrick’s stomach flips, and he rides that feeling as he walks offstage.    
  
He moves off to the side during the final act, but he doesn’t see David. He carefully puts Kyle’s guitar away in its case, and soon he’s glad he did, because when the show is over, he’s surrounded by people telling him how great his song was. Jordan leans over and says, “If Gracie wasn’t in love with you before, she sure will be now!” 

Patrick laughs, but he’s not thinking about Gracie, even when she appears at his side and throws her arms around him. “You were so good!” she says happily.    
  
“Thank you,” he says, smiling, and that’s apparently the invitation she needs to stick by his side as they follow the crowd outside to the lakeside for the fireworks. 

The campers are all hyped up and it takes a few moments to get everyone settled. Patrick sits down on the ground, Gracie plopping down next to him, chattering with Christie on her other side. 

Patrick feels movement on his other side and turns to see designer jeans. He glances up and feels his face break into a smile as David gingerly sits down next to him. Lauren sits on David’s other side. 

“Patrick, you’re such a good singer!” she says, leaning across David to speak. Patrick blushes. 

“Thanks,” he says for what feels like the millionth time, even though it never gets old.    
  
“You were… something else,” says David softly as he adjusts his position.    
  
“I’ll take what I can get,” Patrick replies just as softly, as the fireworks begin and the campers cheer.

Everyone claps after the first explosion, and as Patrick returns his hand to rest in the grass, he feels David rest his own hand next to Patrick’s, their pinky fingers just touching. Patrick’s heart beats faster as every nerve in his body sharpens, buzzing a current to that single point of contact.

The fireworks continue, but neither David nor Patrick clap. Patrick can’t move his hand, won’t move his hand for fear of breaking this beautiful moment.

It’s only when the grand finale starts a few minutes later that he finds the courage to move his pinky back and forth just a little. His breath catches as David’s pinky hooks over his, curling under slightly and staying there. Nothing has ever, ever felt like this before. It feels like fireworks inside him.

He’s almost not aware that the fireworks are ending, until everyone else has jumped up and is clapping. Slowly, he and David move their hands apart, and Patrick feels a pang of loss. 

Everyone filters away slowly, the counselors and CITs corralling the younger campers toward their cabins because it’s late. Patrick feels everyone leaving, but he’s not paying attention. He watches David slowly walk toward the cabins, but Patrick can’t move. 

He sinks back to the ground and looks up at the stars, wondering how he ever lived before falling in love with David Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was my favorite to write so far!
> 
> I’ve never been a high school boy coming out in 1999, but I was a high school girl in 1999, and I’ve attempted to capture some of the feelings and such shared with me by the former high school boys from 1999 who came out, and who I still know and love. My husband very graciously answered all my questions about boners. 
> 
> Patrick’s song (and the fic title’s source) is Wonderwall by Oasis, because in the 90s, we all fell a little bit in love with anyone who played that on a guitar. 
> 
> All your wonderful comments are giving me LIFE! Thank you so much for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Patrick wakes the next morning smiling into his pillow, and he’s flooded with the sweet memory of the previous night. His reverie is interrupted by whispered cursing and the bunk shaking.    
  
Patrick opens his eyes to see David already dressed for the day, tugging his sheets off his bed and crumpling them up into a ball.    
  
“What are you doing?” Patrick whispers, startling David.   
  
“I just… I realized my sheets haven’t been washed since I got here, and that’s disgusting, and... I’m pretty sure there are bedbugs,” says David, pink spots on his cheeks.

“Can’t it wait til later?” whispers Patrick.

David shakes his head. “I need to do it now. I, um, saw a bug. Where’s the… laundry service? Machine?”

“There’s a washer and dryer behind the office under the shed that you can use,” whispers Patrick, propping himself on one elbow.    
  
David looks embarrassed. “Um, what do I do? Is there a button…?"

Patrick sits up all the way. “Hang on. I’ll come help you.”

He climbs down noiselessly and grabs clothes from his drawers, going into the bathroom to change.   
  
When he emerges, David’s holding his bundle of bedding and clutching his cell phone. Patrick grabs the small bottle of detergent his mother packed from under the bed.

“What’s that?” whispers David.

“Detergent? It gets the laundry clean?” says Patrick, and David looks embarrassed again.    
  
“I thought the laundry machine just dispensed it,” he says as they slip outside.

Outside, the air is crisp and the sun is weakly peeking through the trees. Patrick squints up at the sky.    
  
“It’s shaping up to be a nice day,” he says, regretting it instantly because he sounds exactly like his grandpa. But what else is he supposed to say? His heart is thrumming like a hummingbird.

David doesn’t say anything, and Patrick looks at him, worried he’s said something so completely inane that David is going to just walk away.    
  
David’s looking at his cell phone and frowning. “There’s no good signal right here,” he mutters.

“Are you expecting a call?” asks Patrick.

“Actually, yes,” says David. “Anytime now. It’s lunchtime in Europe, right?” 

Patrick shrugs. “The farthest I’ve ever been is Florida, and the Europe at Epcot was the same time zone,” he quips lamely.

David gives him a pitying glance. “It’s too early for jokes from you, so you shouldn’t even try.”

“Ouch,” says Patrick, but he’s smiling, and then they’re at the office. Around back is a covered porch with an old washer and dryer underneath a shed roof. 

“I’m supposed to put my things in there? My pajamas cost more than that machine,” says David, looking warily at the washer as Patrick flips open the lid.

“Relax, David. Look, you pour a capful of detergent, pour it in here, and turn this knob to here, and then pull it.”

David gingerly drops his bedding in and closes the lid.    
  
“There, you just did laundry,” says Patrick, and David looks a little proud.    
  
“Now, when it’s done, you put it in the dryer, turn this knob to here, and push the Start button,” continues Patrick.

“How do you know all this?” asks David, looking impressed. Patrick puffs out his chest a bit.

“My parents made me start washing my own baseball uniforms as soon as I could reach the knobs.”

The look on David’s face makes Patrick laugh, and he’s filled with warmth as they walk toward the dining hall.

Alexis and her friends come into the hall after them, and David calls his sister over. She comes, looking peeved. “What?” she asks impatiently, and David rolls his eyes at her.

“Do you have anything to say to me?” he asks in the same tone.

“Um, you should rethink that shirt and shoe combo?” she says innocently, and then smiles when David huffs. 

“The patterns are a different scale... Never mind. Go be rude somewhere else,” he says, waving her away. 

“You all right?” asks Patrick, and David nods.

“Yeah, it’s fine. You’re lucky to be an only child,” says David. He doesn’t seem to want to elaborate any more, so Patrick drops it and concentrates on his breakfast.

When they bus their empty plates and cups, David grabs his cell phone and heads outdoors. Patrick decides to just leave him alone and jogs to the athletic fields.

\--

David never shows up to lunch, and Patrick wonders if he’s back in bed, but when Patrick goes back to shower quickly before lunch is over, David’s bed is empty. His sheets and comforter are back on the bed, and Patrick feels a surge of fondness at the way everything’s all smooth and nice.

He’s surprised when he arrives at the arts and crafts cabin to see David already there. He doesn’t look happy.

“What’s up?” asks Patrick, and David looks down at the floor.

“I called my parents,” he says. “They couldn’t talk long but they did spend the entire time telling me about this chateau in the south of France where they went to a party with half the cast of Frasier. They barely mentioned Alexis’s little escapade, except my mom called her ‘la petite scamp’ and they didn’t even ask how I was.”

“I’m sorry,” says Patrick awkwardly. David doesn’t seem like he’s finished.   
  
“Um, have your parents ever completely forgotten your birthday? Like, even when they’ve shipped you off to the north woods? Your parents would never do that,” David says, pacing around the room. 

“Aw, I didn’t know it was your birthday,” says Patrick. “Happy birthday, David.”

David looks up from the floor and smiles a shaky smile.   
  
“I’m sorry your parents sucked,” says Patrick. “But hey, you get to skip around the room at dinner tonight if it’s your birthday.”

David shoots him a death glare. “I will not be attending dinner tonight. I’d rather get in another screaming match with Freddie Prinze Jr.’s publicist at the VMAs than skip around anything.”

Patrick laughs, and David slowly smiles. 

Their conversation is stalled by the arrival of a handful of campers, and even though he’s busy, Patrick’s mind can’t help but stray to David. 

_ You should do something _ , his brain says.  _ You should tell him how you feel _ .

He tries to ignore the thought, but it’s difficult. It’s persistent enough, though, that he finally acknowledges to himself that it might be a good idea. Dread and anticipation fill his stomach as he wonders how, but then the solution presents itself, and also solves David’s problem of not wanting to eat in the dining hall.

_ Ask him _ , whispers his brain.  _ Just ask him _ .

Finally, finally he works up enough courage.   
  
“Hey,” he says to David, in what he hopes is a casual tone. “Want to eat dinner with me? Like, not in the dining hall.”

His palms are sweating and his heart is thumping as he waits for David to react.

“You don’t have to do that,” says David uncertainly.

“I want to. I’ll get us some food, and I know where we can go,” says Patrick, now feeling a little bolder.

David gives him a quick smile and nods, looking shy. Patrick had thought that a positive reaction might make his heart slow down and his palms stop sweating, but now he realizes he has to execute this plan, and his whole body is buzzing with nervous energy. 

As soon as the last camper is out the door before dinner, Patrick heads out.   
  
“Meet me outside in maybe twenty minutes?” he asks David, who nods shyly. 

Patrick jogs to the dining hall, full of adrenaline, and goes around back to the kitchen entrance.    
  
He suddenly feels self-conscious when he steps inside. Mike and Steve are there, setting food out for the buffet line; dinner starts in just a few minutes. 

He tries to look casual. “Hey Mike, is it cool if I take some food? I don’t want to eat in here tonight.”

Mike barely glances at him as he hoists pans of penne noodles onto the steamer trays. “Knock yourself out, Brewer,” he says. “There’s shit in the fridge and the pantry. Just don’t take a ton of anything.”

\---

After swinging by the boathouse and the boys’ staff cabin, Patrick’s finally on his way back to the arts and crafts cabin.

David is pacing a little, and stops when he sees Patrick. The fact that David might also be nervous makes the scary feeling in Patrick’s gut lessen just a little. 

“Hi,” says David softly as Patrick approaches.    
  
“Hi,” responds Patrick. He somehow knows that David knows that tonight is bigger than anything they’ve acknowledged so far. He’s filled with shyness but is also feeling braver than he’s felt in a long time. 

“Where are we going?” asks David as Patrick leads them past the arts and crafts cabin to the trail that encircles the lake. 

“Just for a little hike, and then we can eat. I know a good place,” says Patrick.

David looks unsure. “Oh God, the woods? Is this the point where you pull out a knife and murder me?”

Patrick laughs. “I promise I won’t murder you, David. At least not today. It would be tragic to be murdered on your birthday.”

“That is exactly what a murderer would say to throw me off the scent.”

Somehow the teasing banter makes it easier to keep walking and take his mind off what he surely needs to do when they get there. 

Somewhere in the woods near them, there’s a rustle, and David jumps. 

“Is it a bear?” asks David, clutching Patrick’s arm. Patrick likes it.

“It sounded more like a squirrel, but it might just be a very small, squirrel-sized bear,” teases Patrick. 

“Haaa,” says David sarcastically. He lets go of Patrick’s arm and ducks his head, and Patrick can see the dimple in his cheek and all he wants in the world is to kiss it. 

The thought reminds him of what he plans to do once they get to their picnic spot, and he tries to ignore the scary feeling that’s still roiling around in his midsection. 

All too soon, they’re coming up to the glade that is their destination.    
  
“Here we are,” says Patrick. “It’s a literal cedar glade at Camp Cedar Glade.”

“What the hell is a glade?” asks David.

Patrick shrugs. “A circle of trees? I like it here.”

David looks around. “It’s nice. Nicer than I thought the woods would be.”

“David, I wouldn’t bring you to scary woods. That’s for later,” says Patrick, sitting down on the log that bisects the circle of trees. After a beat, David joins him, sitting a few hand widths apart. It’s close enough that Patrick can feel his body heat, and he wills his body to behave. 

“Are you ready for your birthday feast?” he asks, and David nods. 

Patrick pulls out the bag of sandwiches. “Turkey sandwiches, chips, string cheese and Coke.”

“What’s string cheese?” asks David.    
  
“You’ve never had string cheese? Here. You open it, and then you can pull it apart or just eat it regular,” says Patrick, handing one to David, who carefully opens it.    
  
“I don’t think I can eat dismembered cheese, so I’ll just eat it whole,” says David. 

Patrick holds up his own string cheese.”Cheers,” he says, and he and David bump their cheeses together before taking bites. 

Patrick passes David a sandwich and David asks him what he did for his last birthday.

“It was last month. My dad took me and my cousin and some of my friends to go see The Spy Who Shagged Me and then we got pizza.”

David smiles, chewing his sandwich. 

“What did you do for your birthday last year?” Patrick asks him.

“Ecstasy,” says David after he swallows his bite of sandwich. “We were in Tokyo and I went to a club with a bunch of people, got fucked up and ended up making out with Miss Teen Japan and her boyfriend.”

Patrick’s not sure how to respond. David's face softens a bit.   
  
“But Adelina made me a cake with a big fifteen on it, and it tasted so good when I got back to the penthouse we were renting.”

“She sounds nice,” says Patrick.    
  
“She is,” says David. “She used to sing me to sleep when I was little, and she always makes my birthday cake herself, even though we have a chef.”   
  
He looks at Patrick as though daring him to say something about his life. 

“It’s not cake, but…” Patrick says, rifling through the plastic grocery bag, “I did bring you cookies.”    
  
He presents them to David on a napkin. David takes them but doesn’t say anything, and Patrick feels like such a dork.    
  
“I…also brought you a present,” says Patrick, hoping to salvage some dignity. But maybe the present is really dorky. It probably is. It definitely is. He shouldn’t have said he had a present.

“You did?” asks David.   
  
Patrick hopes for the best as he pulls out a little scrap of construction paper from the bottom of the bag and hands it to David. 

David takes the little rectangle. It’s got BOOPMARP written on it in wobbly letters. 

“It’s dumb. It’s just… it’s the first thing anyone made for our store,” says Patrick, feeling a little bit ridiculous. 

“Ashley’s first bookmark,” David says.    
  
“I kept it because it was so cute. It’s nothing,” says Patrick. He feels like he’s going to throw up.

“This is not nothing,” David says. 

He looks up at Patrick, and Patrick swallows. David’s gaze is so open and inviting and Patrick feels like he could get lost in those eyes. He knows he should just lean over and kiss him, but he feels paralyzed. 

“I don’t have any birthday candles for your cookies, but I can sing to you,” he says, feeling every inch the chicken that he is. 

David smiles. “Not necessary, but um, you certainly proved you could sing last night.” 

It’s the first time either of them has mentioned last night. Patrick’s mouth is dry and his insides are shaking. “I… the song was for you,” he manages to say.    
  
“Why are you so nice? Why did you do all this for me?” asks David, barely above a whisper.    
  
Patrick wasn’t expecting this, so it’s easy to answer without thinking. “Because you deserve it. You’re my friend and my... and I…  _ like  _ you.”

There it is, out in the open.    
  
“That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” whispers David.    
  
Now’s the time for Patrick to lean in. He knows it. His whole body is shaking and his brain can’t form any kind of words. He hesitates for a split second, eyes flickering down to David’s gorgeous lips, but then David is moving to him, pressing his lips to Patrick’s.

It’s everything.

Patrick kisses back, reveling in the feeling of David’s soft mouth. He feels David’s hand come up to cradle his face. His heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest, and everything makes sense now to Patrick. 

They break apart far too soon for Patrick’s liking. He tries to catch his breath. He sees David watching him, a look of mingled joy and apprehension on his face. 

“Thank you,” says Patrick quietly.

“For what?” David says, mouth twisting into a small smile.

“I’ve never done that before,” admits Patrick.

“With a guy?” asks David.

“With anyone,” says Patrick, and David looks surprised.

Patrick presses on. Might as well be honest, if he’s already admitting that was just his first kiss.

“I was worried we were going to leave here without me, um, kissing you, so thank you for making it happen,” he says. 

“I mean, technically,  _ I  _ kissed  _ you _ ,” says David softly. “You still haven’t kissed me.”

Patrick’s whole body is screaming to take the hint. He slides his hands onto David’s face and pulls him in. He can’t believe how good it feels, how right it feels, to kiss David. 

This kiss is longer and a little more filled with the fire that’s burning inside Patrick. He opens his mouth a little and feels David’s tongue, and his brain nearly short-circuits because he had no idea how amazing this could be. Frenching had always seemed really gross on principle, but this is… not. He moves his hands from David’s cheeks to the back of his head, running his fingers over David’s soft, thick hair. 

When they finally break apart, they’re both breathing heavily. Patrick most definitely has a situation going on, because of course he does, and from the way David is shifting, he might too. The thought makes Patrick’s brain feel like it’s going to explode, so he tries to ignore it and focus on the practicalities of the moment.    
  
“We should probably head back,” he says, hating every word. 

“I know,” says David miserably. They each stand up, Patrick facing away from David just so he can calm himself down. David’s turned away from Patrick too, and that makes Patrick feel a teeny bit better, knowing David might be going through the same misery. 

Patrick shoves all the wrappers and bags from their picnic into the grocery bag and remembers the cookies, a welcome distraction. 

“We can eat your birthday cookies,” says Patrick, and David looks a little less pained. “Or you can. Four whole cookies.”

“I’ll share,” says David, as he glances around the glade, heading for the path. “Who knew we could have so much fun in a glade?”

Patrick laughs. “The best part is, the glade will be here for three whole hours tomorrow during morning activities, in case you feel like taking a hike.”

He glances at David, hoping he's not being too forward.

“I never knew it, but I really love hiking,” says David, and Patrick lets out a breath he didn't quite realize he was holding.

“Don’t forget your boopmarp,” he says, and David smiles.    
  
“I never could,” he says, looking sideways at Patrick.

They walk slowly along the trail. Their hands brush, and Patrick reaches out to take David’s hand in his. They fit together perfectly.

“What was your best birthday?” asks David suddenly, and Patrick smiles.   
  
“Probably when I turned ten. We were at our cottage, and my dad and my uncles set up a couple of tents so my cousins and I could go camping. We had a huge Super Soaker battle and went night swimming and had cake, and we got to camp outside all by ourselves.”

David’s watching him talk. “You’re really cute when you’re excited about something,” he says, and Patrick blushes.    
  
“How about you? What was your best birthday?” he asks.

David looks at him. “When I turned sixteen.”

It takes a second, but Patrick finally gets it.

“Happy birthday, David,” he says softly, stopping and pulling David in by the waist. This kiss is short, but it’s the sweetest one of all, and Patrick hopes David feels what Patrick’s feeling. He'll never be the same again.

They link hands again as they walk, just for a few moments until the camp comes in sight again.

\--

That night at the campfire, Candace tells everyone that it’s David’s birthday, and everyone sings “Happy Birthday” to him. He rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning, and his pinky squeezes Patrick’s where they’re linked between them.    
  
And when they sing the Camp Cedar Glade song, Patrick squeezes right back every time the word ‘glade’ comes up, making David laugh, which is the sweetest sound Patrick’s ever known. 

They stumble back to the cabin with some of the other guys, and for a little while, it’s loud and bright, but then someone turns the lights off and it’s quiet.    
  
In the dark, Patrick slides his arm down between his bunk and the wall to the bunk below. He feels David’s fingers intertwine with his, and he gives three little squeezes. 

_ I love you. _

He feels three squeezes in return as he drifts to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Patrick wakes up smiling the next morning, wondering how he’d lived for fifteen whole years without David. He peers over the side of his bunk, but David’s not there, and his bed is stripped again. For a wild moment, Patrick is worried that he’s left for good, but then he sees David’s hair products on the dresser and knows he’d never leave without those. 

Patrick showers and goes to the dining hall, and somehow makes it through breakfast until David gets there, and then it’s only David that matters.

“Hi,” David says softly as he sits down with his breakfast.   
  
“Hi,” says Patrick, matching his tone. “I didn’t know where you were.”

“I, um, had to do laundry again. There was a moth in my bed,” says David. Patrick laughs and they eat in silence for a few minutes until they’re both finished.   
  
“Um, I’m still very much interested in hiking, if you still are,” David says, giving Patrick an anxious look, as though he’s worried that Patrick has changed his mind.   
  
“Oh yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about hiking. Woke up thinking about hiking,” says Patrick, and David blushes a delicate pink. 

“I wasn’t sure if you had any regrets about our plans to go hiking,” says David gingerly, as though giving Patrick an out if he wants it. Patrick is shocked into dropping the banter.   
  
“What? No. I really, really want to,” he says and David looks relieved. 

Patrick’s nerves are on edge as they head outside after breakfast. He feels like they should be sneaking away down the trail around the lake, but no one’s paying attention to them. It’s a loud, joyful jumble of kids running to their morning activities, and no one seems to notice that Patrick’s life is turning upside down in the very best way. 

His feet seem to be on autopilot, steering them to the quiet path, and he’s glad that David is following him. They don’t say anything, and Patrick suddenly feels very shy. The sounds of camp are muffled the deeper they walk into the woods, until it’s just the two of them.    
  
Patrick sneaks a look at David and sees David sneaking a look at him. They turn matching shades of pink. “I feel like if I kiss you right now, we’ll never make it to the glade,” Patrick says, surprising himself with his boldness.

David’s smile is shy and Patrick sees a hint of a dimple. 

“We can’t disappoint the glade,” David says.

Patrick is filled to the brim with fondness, and he reaches for David’s hand. It’s amazing how holding hands feels. Every point of contact with David’s skin is a tiny patch of fireworks, and Patrick just wants more. 

“There she is,” David says as the familiar site comes into view. Patrick’s palms are sweaty and he hopes David can’t feel it, but then he doesn’t care, because David has turned to him and they’re crashing their mouths together. 

Yesterday’s kisses were sweet and tender; today’s might be best described as frenzied. Patrick has seen approximately a thousand kisses on TV and in movies, and he’s determined to try them all out on David. Luckily David seems amenable to this and seems to have a kiss agenda of his own. 

Even though his brain is pretty much short-circuiting, Patrick revels in the fact that he’s never been filled with more joy in his whole life. 

He feels David under his hands, squeezing David’s waist, running his hands up the back of David’s neck to his soft hair, tasting maple syrup on David’s tongue, David biting his lip so gently. 

Patrick feels light, lighter than he’s ever felt, and maybe David’s fingers twined through his belt loops are the only things keeping him on the ground. 

They finally break apart at some point; Patrick’s not even sure who pulled away first. They’re both breathing heavily like they’ve just run a marathon, and Patrick’s lips are pulsing gently from overuse. David looks as shell shocked as Patrick feels.    
  
“That was…” David starts to say, and stops. 

Patrick has no idea how the rest of that statement is going to go, so his brain takes over and before he can stop himself, he finds himself teasingly asking, “Do I make you horny, baby?” in his best-worst Austin Powers voice.

He expects David to tease back, but instead, David smooths down the front of his own pants and asks, “What do you think?” and Patrick can see the effect that he’s had on David, and he’s both proud and also feels like he might faint.

Instead, he pulls David to him and he can feel David’s body against his and knows David can feel him, too, and if Patrick could freeze this moment in time forever, he would. 

By the next time they break apart, they’re sitting down against the fallen tree trunk and Patrick’s catching his breath again. He feels David’s hand on his chest, pressing against his rapidly beating heart, and he sinks back against David, feeling his solid form against Patrick’s back. 

“I don’t want to go back,” he says, his voice breaking the stillness.    
  
“To camp, or real life?” asks David. Patrick can feel the rumble of David’s voice. 

“Both?” Patrick says, looking up at the sky and tracing his fingers down David’s arm where it’s still folded over Patrick’s chest. 

“What will you do after camp?” asks David. 

“My parents usually take a week off of work in August, and we go spend it at my grandma and grandpa’s cottage on the lake. My cousins will all be there, too. And then I have a few weeks before school starts, so my mom will probably make me try on all my school clothes and see what still fits and then we’ll go shopping. And my dad says it might be good to get an after-school job this year so I have some spending money, so I might do that. My friend Josh says I can probably get a job with him at… at, um, Rose Video.”   
  
Patrick feels David’s body tense up a bit.

“That… you’ll look ravishing in the red polo,” says David. Patrick laughs to alleviate the little spikes of weirdness he’s feeling and that no doubt David is feeling, too.

“How about you? What’ll you do for the rest of the summer?” he asks David.

“We usually go to the Hamptons for a month or so, and we have a big house party with a bonfire at the end of the season. Then my mom and I usually go to Paris to get our fall wardrobes, and I think she promised Alexis she could go this year, which is gross. Um, and then I go to my boarding school in California.”

“Wow, so basically the same,” Patrick quips because he doesn’t know what else to say. David’s forced laugh tells Patrick he doesn’t know what to say either. 

Instead, Patrick leans forward and turns around and cups David’s face and pulls him into a kiss. It’s slower and quieter this time. 

Patrick can’t believe he’s allowed to do this. David makes him feel alive the same way singing in front of a crowd does, or hitting a home run.    
  
David kisses down his neck, making Patrick shiver. “Let’s just stay here forever,” he whispers to David. Now that he’s discovered this part of himself, he doesn’t ever want to hide it again. 

“If you think I’m sleeping in the forest, you don’t know me at all,” David whispers back, nibbling on Patrick’s earlobe, and Patrick laughs and pulls him into a kiss again. 

Far too soon, it’s noon (“Look at your little sports watch!” says David), and they need to get back to camp if they want to eat lunch before arts and crafts.

They get up and brush themselves off. Patrick’s back and butt are sore from sitting on the ground, and he’s happy that his blood will actually be going back to his head and his limbs after being so concentrated in one spot for three hours. Still, he doesn’t want to leave. 

Fingers threaded through David’s on their walk back, he’s mostly silent and so is David.    
  
Patrick feels like he should name the feeling that’s coursing through him; he wants to say it, but he’s not feeling bold enough.    
  
“What’s the happiest you’ve ever been?” he asks, his voice cutting through the quiet forest sounds.

A dreamy look flits across David’s face. “Last year, when I got to see Mariah Carey on her Butterfly tour in Melbourne. I was in the front row, and everyone was singing along and so happy, and I just… I felt so incredible and full of, just... joy. I yelled that I loved her, and she looked down at me and winked, and I felt like I could’ve died, it was so amazing.”

Patrick squeezes his hand. He should just say it. Somehow, his brain agrees and he hears himself speak.

“David, you’re my Mariah Carey.”

He bites the inside of his mouth because he’s nervous about saying that aloud, nervous about putting it out there into the world, but the look on David’s face makes him think that saying it was maybe okay, because David is luminous. His smile is wide and bright; Patrick recognizes the smile from David’s childhood photo. 

He stops suddenly, and Patrick stops, too. Neither initiates it, but they meet in a soft, sweet kiss. Patrick doesn’t care that his lips are sore. This is perfect.

\--

It’s so hard that afternoon to keep his hands off David, and Patrick knows David feels it, too. They busy themselves with the campers.    
  
“We should pack up all your stuff today,” Patrick tells the littlest Ashley. 

“Wait, how come?” asks David. 

“Today’s the last day of the first session, and a lot of campers will be leaving,” says Patrick. 

His heart grows three sizes when he overhears David talking to Ashley at the end of the session.    
  
“You should keep working on your art. You’re very talented,” says David. It might be a stretch, but the look on her face is worth it. “I have one of your bookmarks, and I’m going to use it every time I read a book.”

“David Rose, a soft touch with children,” teases Patrick later as all the campers are leaving for dinner. 

“They're disgusting in general, but some of them are slightly less revolting,” says David, smiling grudgingly as the last kid jogs out the door.   
  
They snatch a quick, secret kiss before leaving the cabin. As they join the throngs of people waiting to enter the dining hall, David’s cell phone rings. He waves Patrick ahead as he answers it.

Patrick’s in line for food when David enters, coming over to Patrick. 

“No cuts,” says the kid behind Patrick, so David frowns and heads to the back of the line. Patrick feels a pit of dread in his stomach at the look on David’s face, so he follows David to the back of the line.    
  
“My dad’s assistant called, and we’re going home tomorrow,” David says flatly.

“What?” asks Patrick, hoping he’s misunderstanding but knowing he’s not. 

“Apparently it’s the one time she actually listened to what I wanted,” says David, and Patrick’s stomach plummets.

“You… want to go?” he asks tentatively.

David looks distraught. “No! I wanted to when we first got here, but I… don’t want to leave now,” he says, chewing on his lower lip.

Patrick doesn’t know what to say. He thought they’d have the whole second session together, a few more glorious weeks, and now he’s faced with no more David. 

He realizes he’ll be incredibly lonely.    
  
“I have to go tell Alexis,” David says, abandoning his place in line. Patrick feels the empty space next to him keenly. He watches as David finds Alexis and tells her. She looks delighted and not at all sad.

Dinner is weird that night. David doesn’t say much, but a few of their friends are also leaving tomorrow, and the tone is decidedly maudlin. Patrick’s foot finds David’s beneath the table, but David doesn’t respond and Patrick doesn’t know how to feel. 

David disappears after dinner and Patrick supposes he’d better get used to this empty feeling. The sick feeling won’t leave the pit of his stomach, and he supposes he’d better get used to that, too. 

David shows up for the evening activity, which is a ceremonial goodbye for the first-session campers, complete with awards. Patrick scoots over on the bench to make room for him, and he’s thankful for the crowded space so he can feel David’s leg against his, David’s arm against his.

No one’s more surprised than David when he wins “Most Entrepreneurial.” He rolls his eyes when he accepts his award, but his dimples betray his smile as everyone claps and cheers for him. “He’s a weird dude, but he’s cool,” Patrick hears Cameron say to Jordan.

When David sits down again, Patrick pats him on the back. “That award is half mine,” he says, and David looks surprised for a moment until he smirks. 

“It was my idea, so I’m taking all the credit,” he says, and Patrick laughs. 

“Ah, yes, but my business smarts made it happen,” he says and David rolls his eyes.

“They’re not giving out awards for business smarts, are they? Artistic creativity is more valued here, so your little business butt can scoot away,” says David, and Patrick is delighted that things feel a little more back to normal, whatever that is.    
  
He does not scoot his little business butt away, but instead leans ever-so-slightly into David, feeling the press of his arm against David’s. David does the same, and Patrick feels David’s pinky gently rub against his.    
  
They all move outside to the campfire, where there’s a repeat performance of pinky-touching and shoulder leaning. Patrick feels a lump in his throat as he watches the fire flicker and watches a group of campers do a rendition of “So Long, Farewell” with the lyrics rewritten about camp.    
  
Before the campfire is over, David whispers to Patrick, “I have to go.”   
  
“Now?” asks Patrick, confused.

“I have to pack. Vanessa’s sending a car before breakfast because our flight’s early. We’re stopping in Portugal to pick up Adelina and then going on to a chateau in Nice.”   
  
David looks sad, even though the places he’s going Patrick can only dream of.    
  
“Do you need help packing?” asks Patrick.

“No, you should stay,” says David, a pained look on his face. 

Patrick stays. 

He hates himself for it, but he wonders if David wants to be alone, or if he’s mad at Patrick, or sad, or something else. Patrick is all of those things. 

There’s a sense of melancholy as everyone heads back towards the cabins and bed. Patrick knows how it works; the first-sessioners will leave in the morning, and a new crop will arrive in the afternoon. Normally, he loves the excitement of the day, but this year he’s not at all looking forward to the second session at all. How is he supposed to go back to before David?

David’s asleep already when Patrick gets to the cabin. His suitcases are lined up in the middle of the room, ready to go, and Patrick’s heart aches when he sees them.

Once he’s in bed, he has trouble falling asleep. He has the nagging sense that he needs to talk to David, to see where they stand, to know if they’ll ever actually see each other again. 

\---

The next morning, Patrick wakes up to see David quietly getting ready; he doesn’t look thrilled about it. He startles when Patrick climbs silently out of bed. He gathers his clothes to get ready in the bathroom, and neither of them speak until they’ve carried all of David’s suitcases outside. 

“We’re supposed to go wait near the office,” David says, his voice low. “But I can grab my stuff… you don’t have to do this.”

Patrick stops. “David. Yes, I do.”    
  
David ducks his head and Patrick hears a soft, “Okay.”

They walk, each dragging two suitcases. Patrick’s heart is beating fast, and he knows he’s just got to say it.    
  
“Listen,” he starts to say, and David interrupts him.   
  
“No, you listen,” he says, and then stops. “Sorry. That came out way harsh.”

“Way harsh, Tai,” Patrick says automatically, and David gives him a wan smile.    
  
Patrick presses on, because he might never get another chance to say it. “David, I just need you to know that this has been the best summer of my life, and you’re the reason, but, um, I also understand if it stops here.”

His throat is tight and his eyes feel prickly at the edges. It hurts to think the words, but it hurts even more to say them. He dares to look at David’s face, which mirrors his own. 

“Why would you say that?” asks David, and Patrick feels terrible. 

“It’s just… our lives are so different, and you’re going off around the world, and I’m stuck here. I don’t want you to... This can just be nothing,” he says. He might cry. He might cry in front of the boy he wants more than anything in the world.

David’s just looking at him. Patrick’s heart is thumping, waiting. He doesn’t have to wait for long because then David’s holding Patrick’s face in his hands and saying, “This is not nothing. This will never be nothing.”   
  
Then they’re kissing, pressed up against the office, all alone in the world, and Patrick can feel dampness on his cheeks, but he doesn’t know if it’s from David or himself. He holds onto David, feeling their hearts thumping together, and never wants to let go. 

In the distance, though, they see the headlights of a car beyond the camp gate, and they break apart. Patrick swipes his face on his sweatshirt, and David does the same. 

Candace is unlocking the gate, and Alexis is there, and Gracie and the counselor for Chickadee are lugging Alexis’s suitcases toward the car. David takes a deep breath and he and Patrick head that way.    
  
The driver helps with the suitcases, and all too soon, it’s time to go. Alexis is hugging the girls and shaking Patrick’s hand primly, and David says goodbye to everyone, too, before turning to Patrick. He doesn’t speak, just opens his arms and Patrick steps into them, folding David into a tight hug.    
  
He doesn’t care that everyone’s watching; he puts his mouth to David’s ear, pressing a tiny kiss to it and whispers, “I... Mariah you.”    
  
He feels David’s arms squeeze him tighter, and then David whispers, “I… I Mariah you, too.”

They break apart and David presses something into Patrick’s hand as he gets into the car, and then the doors shut and he’s driving away and he’s gone. 

Patrick exhales. Gracie pats him on the back. “Gonna miss them,” she says, and Patrick thinks maybe she’s not so bad. 

They walk back toward the cabins, and it’s not until Gracie and the counselor drop off at their own cabin that Patrick unfolds the paper David gave him. It’s a list of three phone numbers, including David’s private line, an email address, a home address and the address of his boarding school. Folded up with it is a sprig of cedar from their glade, and Patrick raises it to his nose to sniff it, bringing back the golden memories of the past few days. 

He takes a deep breath, and some of the ache goes away from his insides. Everything’s different now, but he feels that somehow, everything will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The Austin Powers thing was an actual exchange between me and my high school boyfriend in 1999. I'm still recovering from the fact that I thought that was a good thing to reference during a makeout session. 
> 
> You're getting a bonus epilogue because I want to.


	9. Epilogue

“You sure you have everything?” Patrick’s mom asks for the jillionth time.    
  
“Mom.”

“I’m sorry honey, I’m just nervous. You have the gift for Mr. and Mrs. Rose?”

“I do,” Patrick says, holding up his carry-on bag. His mom smiles. “Now, behave yourself. You’re a guest in someone’s house, so offer to help with the dishes.”

“Mom, they have people who wash the dishes,” Patrick says, and his mom smacks him lightly on the arm.    
  
“You know what I mean. Be helpful. Be good.”

Patrick smiles.    
  
“You have your ticket?” his dad asks, clearing his throat. Patrick nods.    
  
“I have my ticket, and I have Vanessa’s cell phone number, and I promise I’ll call you as soon as I get to Vancouver,” he says.    
  
His mom throws her arms around him and hugs him tightly, and he lets her kiss his forehead, even though it’s slightly embarrassing and he’ll only be gone for four nights. He’ll be back on the 30th since they were leery about him flying on New Year’s Eve with Y2K looming. 

His dad gives him a bear hug and then Patrick is waving goodbye and walking through security.    
  
He hold his head high through the airport, wondering if people are wondering why he’s by himself. He’s carrying a secret delight in his heart knowing he won’t be alone for long.

\--

Five hours in first class goes by too quickly and not quickly enough, and then he’s gathering up his bag and his Discman and then he’s in a fancy area near baggage claim, and David’s there, with open arms and a smile just for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was so much fun to write! Thank you all so much for reading, and for the kudos and comments! I appreciate every one.


End file.
